The Self Led Human: How a disciplined life sets you free.

Contributed by: Georgia Ellis

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Have you ever known what to do to experience the results you want but somehow you just can’t do what you know you need to do?
 
The thing is….
 
I know you have… because I have too.
 
I have spent 20+ years gathering all sorts of information from books, podcasts, training, seminars and experts, a hellova lot of knowledge, yet for the most part… I do nothing with it… a potential waste of my time and money.
 
Having had a fascination, and also worked, in the human potential and personal effectiveness space for the same amount of time I have witnessed first-hand how participants of my programs, coaching clients and I have all struggled with this often frustrating phenomena.
 
But, I have also noticed an anomaly…
 
It seems that the people with high levels of self-discipline are the ones who take the information they gather and do something with it… going on to achieve success across different aspects of their life such as improved physical health, more resilience and better personal and professional relationships.
 
And once I understood this anomaly… I began to put it to use, I decided, that if I wasn’t going to commit to putting into action the things I learn, I wasn’t going to waste my time (or money) on gathering more information that may make me sound smart… but it sure as hell wouldn’t make me wise!
 
My decisions had to be backed with a high level of self-discipline.
 
Many years ago one of my mentors provided me with a description of self -disciple that changed the game for me personally. He said “Self-discipline is the ability to give yourself a command and then follow it”
 
Self-discipline is also a key component to building trust, you’ve likely heard it plenty of times… “do what you say you will do” – but when it comes to self-discipline its actually a conversation that occurs in the safety, and privacy, of your head, where no one else knows what you are attempting to commit to, effectively know one will know if you fail… except you.

Self-discipline is the ability to trust yourself to act, even when no one else knows what you are striving towards.
 
If I couldn’t commit to the commands I gave myself to adopt new and improved ways of being – then my personal and professional goals were going to be relegated to the realm of wishful thinking,…
 
and I’d stay stuck right where I was!
 
While the principle is simple in theory, I know from personal experience that it can be profoundly challenging in practice.

For those of you navigating the business world, attempting to meet objectives, manage a team or prevent burnout, mastering self-discipline can make the difference between thriving and burning out, between been trapped in a cycle of drama and being empowered, between mediocrity and excellence, and between influencing not only personal performance but also the success of entire teams and organisations.

Understanding Self-Discipline

At its core, self-discipline involves having clear goals, making deliberate choices, and consistently acting in alignment with those decisions. It’s about resisting the temptation to deviate from your path, regardless of distractions or difficulties.

The concept is elegantly captured in the adage: “Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t want to do it.” 

I have noticed that some people (those less effective in achieving goals) can easily put off doing what’s required to get to where they want to go – as Don Sula said – “It’s the start that stops most people.”

The Knowing-Doing Gap

One of the significant challenges in achieving self-discipline is the knowing-doing gap, a term popularised by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton in their influential book, “The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action.” This gap refers to the disconnect between consciously knowing what needs to be done (information held at a conscious level) and actually doing it (a role of our subconscious mind).

For most of us this gap can be a formidable barrier to success.
 
In most instances, we are well aware of what we need to do to achieve our goals. We attend seminars, read books, and develop strategic plans. However, translating this knowledge into consistent action is where many falter. This gap can stem from various factors, including fear of failure, low levels of self-awareness, lack of confidence, not understanding how the mind works, and the allure of short-term rewards over long-term benefits.

Overcoming the Knowing-Doing Gap with Self-Discipline

Bridging the knowing-doing gap requires a concerted effort to cultivate self-discipline. Here are some strategies to enhance your self-discipline and ensure that your actions align with your knowledge and goals:
 
1.   Get clear on what it is you want and why: Ask yourself questions like, “What is It I really want in this situation?”, “Is this what I want or is it what I think others want me to achieve or who others want me to be?”,  “What will achieving this goal bring to my life/career?” or “How will reaching this goal impact my long-term happiness and fulfillment?”, “How grateful would my future self be if I set out on this goal today?”, “How will others benefit when I achieve my goal?”

A goal that you are emotionally connected to often provides the intrinsic motivation to get started.
 
2. Develop a Routine: Consistent routines and habits can reduce the mental energy required to make decisions, making it easier to stay disciplined. And when your intrinsic motivation begins to wane, any well-honed practices that are now routines will run on autopilot, requiring very little (if any) self-motivation.

3.   Prioritise Tasks: Set yourself up for success with written to-do lists. It may sound basic, but it really works. When we write down tasks the night before, our subconscious mind processes them while we sleep, often leading to fresh ideas and solutions by morning. This mental preparation helps us wake up ready to tackle the day with greater focus and effectiveness, ensuring that we hit the ground running and accomplish our goals more efficiently. Remember to focus on high-priority tasks that align with your long-term goals. Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to differentiate between urgent and important tasks, ensuring that your efforts are directed toward activities that yield the best results.

4.   Practice Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, reducing impulsivity and enhancing self-control. Techniques such as meditation and journaling can foster greater self-awareness and discipline.

5.   Hold Yourself Accountable: Establish accountability mechanisms, such as regular self-reflection, peer reviews, or mentorship. Being accountable to others can reinforce your commitment to disciplined action.

6.   Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity: Fear of failure often paralyses action. Reframe failure as a valuable learning experience and an integral part of the growth process. This mindset shift can reduce anxiety and enhance your willingness to take disciplined action.

Self-Discipline and Flow

I bet you’ve felt it before, those times when you feel like you are performing like a superhuman… you’re devouring your to do list in record time , fresh ideas are emerging, information you have gathered is effortlessly finding a home in your work and time has no meaning to you, Oh and did I mention that  it feels amazing!
 
This optimal state is known in the circles I move in as “flow”.
 
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a renowned psychologist, studied this and found that you reach flow when you have both self-discipline and the ability to let go, or surrender.
 
When you practice self-discipline, you set yourself up to enter this flow state more often. Discipline helps you start tasks and stay on track, while surrender helps you enjoy the process without worrying too much. At the intersection of discipline and surrender, you can find flow, which is a sure fire way to increase your personal effectiveness!

The Role of Self-Discipline in Leadership

If you manage or lead people, modelling self-discipline sets a powerful example for your team. When your team members observe you consistently following through on commitments, prioritising long-term goals over short-term gains, and maintaining a disciplined approach to work, they are more likely to adopt similar behaviours. This creates a culture of discipline within the organization, driving collective success.
 
You can foster self-discipline in you teams by providing clear expectations (goals), linking those goals to what matters to them, offering support and resources, and recognising and rewarding disciplined behaviour. Encouraging a growth mindset and resilience in the face of challenges can also help team members develop their self-discipline.

The Hidden Benefit of Self-Discipline that Few People Know.

A few weeks ago, I caught up with a business owner who shared his lack of good routines and he asked whether my practices changed when I traveled for work.

I said "No they don’t…"

He then commented on how disciplined I was with my morning routine and life in general (what I like to call my not negotiable’s)

I simply replied…

"It’s easy to be disciplined when you realise it gives you more freedom".

As a coach and facilitator on all things personal and leadership effectiveness, I have witnessed many a person who lacks discipline and their life and work is riddled with stress, chaos, burn out and health issues…

If you want to perform or feel better, I suggest you start falling in love with a disciplined life! Start by determining your ‘Not Negotiables’ - and then stick to them – no matter what, at first it will require a big dose of will-power, and over time those regular practices will become who you are!

In today’s fast-paced business world, the ability to stay disciplined is a game-changer.

Here’s why discipline is your key to more freedom:

Achieve Your Goals: Discipline helps you consistently reach your goals, paving the way for growth and fulfillment.

Master Your Time: Effective time management through discipline eliminates last-minute stress and gives you more time to do what you love.

Reduce Stress: Order and predictability reduce stress, allowing you to focus on the demands of life with a clear mind.

Form Healthy Habits: Turning positive actions into automatic habits frees up mental energy for creative and strategic thinking.

Boost Confidence: Consistent discipline builds self-confidence, empowering you to tackle new challenges and lead yourself with a sense of assurance.

Over to You

Self-discipline is a vital attribute for bridging the gap between knowing and doing. 

Discipline really is the bridge between goals and accomplishment - and you need to build that bridge if you want a better life!.

Resources Available to You:

• Free Online Course “The Essence of Thinking” START NOW
• “The Art of People Management” Intensive short course LEARN MORE
• “The Personal Effectiveness Bootcamp” LEARN MORE
  
• “The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action” by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton
• “Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” by James Clear
• “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg
  
• “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi