Written By: Georgia Ellis

In the work I do, I see it every day—people feeling stuck, not because they’re lacking skill, drive or opportunity, but because they’re unknowingly living inside a story that no longer fits. These stories don’t always shout. Often, they hum quietly in the background, sounding like helpful advice: “Stay small, it’s safer.” “Don’t ask for too much.” “You’re only valued if you achieve.”

Some of these stories begin in childhood. Others take shape as adults during moments of heightened stress—after betrayal, loss, burnout, redundancy, illness, heartbreak. Our nervous system kicks in, and in an attempt to protect us, it weaves a story that helps us get through. “Don’t trust anyone.” “You’re better off alone.” “Keep going, no matter what.”
And at the time, those stories are adaptive. They keep us safe. They help us survive.

But then the moment passes. Life changes. We evolve. And the story… doesn’t.

That’s something I’ve personally experienced too.

After navigating a number of personal relationships that ended due to abandonment and betrayal, I came to realise it wasn’t so much about losing trust in others—it was about losing trust in myself.

I began to doubt my ability to make sound decisions, to sense red flags early, and to honour what I felt deep down. This new narrative flowed seemlessy across to my professional life too.

But when I really got curious, I could trace that back further.

Growing up, I didn’t always receive the kind of emotional support a child needs to develop strong internal signals. My parents did their best, and I have deep compassion for them, but there were gaps. And from those gaps, a part of me developed an intense drive for connection. Not in a dysfunctional way—but in a way that made me rush. I often moved into relationships quickly, desperate to feel emotionally held. I didn’t realise I was overriding my own inner knowing because of a quiet belief running beneath the surface: “I need connection. I need to be chosen. And I need it now.”

I’ve since done deep inner work to shift that pattern.

Over 20 years ago it was EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) that helped me meet the younger, tender parts of myself and release the emotional charge stored in my body. With tapping, I could gently calm the nervous system and start letting go of the urgency, the shame, the fear. I began to rebuild trust—not just with people around me, but with myself. And over time it changed everything. Today I notice the urge to rush. So I paused I choose with clarity. And I became someone I could count on.

Over the last two years, I’ve also been practicing Internal Family Systems (IFS) as part of my own growth. The insights have been profound. One core belief I discovered was: “I can do this alone.” That part of me formed in my early twenties, during a time when I had to make some incredibly tough decisions without much support, and with some outdated beliefs that influenced what I would do. Being strong and independent was how I started to cope with the messiness of life.

But as I got older, that belief started to cut me off. I stopped asking for help. I stopped letting people in. I didn’t even realise I was doing it—it was just the air I breathed and I thought it was a stoic strength, a sign of true independence.

Through IFS, I met that part of me with compassion. I saw the strength it carried, and I thanked it. But I also gently let it know: You don’t have to do this all alone anymore. And from that point on, my life became more connected. I started reaching out. I built richer relationships. I let people support me. And it felt good.

This is what I mean when I say we live inside the stories we tell ourselves.

And if those stories are outdated or built in survival mode, they can quietly build walls around our potential and around the people we share life with.

But here’s the empowering part: those stories can be rewritten.

Using tools like IFS, EFT and even journaling, you can begin exploring the roots of your inner narrative. You can identify the parts of you that are still trying to protect you—even when you no longer need protecting in the same way. And you can gently help those parts update their beliefs, making space for more aligned, supportive stories to emerge.

If you’re ready to explore this yourself, here are a few gentle steps:

First, notice the narrative.

When you feel stuck, anxious, or reactive—pause and ask: What story am I telling myself right now? Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it from the present moment—or from a past version of me? (These are great journaling prompts)

Then, tune into the part that’s holding the story.

Where do you feel it in your body?
What emotion is there?
You might even ask, in your mind, “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t hold this belief?” Just listen.

You don’t have to fix anything. Curiosity alone creates space for change.

If you’re interested in EFT, there are plenty of great resources to guide you—I’ve even recorded a podcast with an EFT expert that walks through the basics. It’s a simple yet powerful way to gently shift the emotional charge behind limiting beliefs. You can catch it here https://youtu.be/8y_UTlaO-Ew?si=tlybdWkkPK-4lk4y (or reach out for a step by step guide)

And if IFS speaks to you, you might like to begin naming your parts—just noticing them as they show up in daily life. You might hear yourself think, “A part of me feels like a failure,” or “A part of me is terrified of rejection.” That’s a beautiful beginning.

Meet those parts with kindness. Thank them. Ask them what they need.

My coaching clients often benefit from this work too. Because I’ve walked through these stories myself, I continue to draw on tools like EFT and IFS with clients when they’re needed—not as a fixed formula, but as a responsive, compassionate way to support real transformation.

These approaches, and the deeper philosophy behind them, are also thoughtfully woven through the programs I deliver—both in organisations and to the general public—because I believe that understanding the stories we live by is foundational to lasting change and living a truly fulfilling life.

You don’t need to fight your story. You just need to listen to it, understand it, and then lovingly choose to write a new one.

You are not broken.

You are brilliantly adaptive.

And you hold the pen now.

Write well!

"Step toward a better you. Step into self-investment." This mantra was the stepping stone that transformed my life from the ordinary to the extraordinary.

The Australian Government Department of Education, Skills and Employment defined self-investment as a commitment to learning and development to enhance one's skills and capability, fostering personal and professional growth. Let's plunge into a saga of self-investment and transformation in the essence of a story.
 
 “We believe that self-investment is a game changer. It's the key to unlocking your potential and transforming your future. It's not just about financial growth, but personal growth and fulfilling your dreams," says Shane Perry, entrepreneur and small business loan provider at Max Funding.
 
I still vividly recall those days, looking at my life cycle spinning around like a hamster wheel - work, eat, and sleep. My day-to-day routine was secure, stable and unchanging; even an inkling of uncertainty was conspicuously absent. But living this structured life casts a shroud over the potential spark within me. I was comfortable, yet unsatisfied. I yearned for a challenge, a catalyst that would stimulate my growth, personally and professionally.
 
Throughout this time, I found solace in an incredibly profound quote: "The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday." These words hit me like a gust of fresh wind, pushing me towards the edge of my comfort zone. They became the beacon guiding me on the path of transformation - self-investment.
 
Unlike popular opinion, this path did not involve a monetary commitment. Still, it required a more personal commitment of persistent effort, undivided focus, and endless patience towards personal growth and self-improvement.

Fast forward to today, I've developed this same transformative opportunity through programs like 'Life Reloaded', 'Superior Thinker’s Toolbox', and 'Future Ready Leaders Toolkit' at my initiative, Blue Chip Minds. These programs are carefully designed to help individuals and teams build mental complexity – just as it helped me.
 
Self-investment doesn't require an extravagant leap. Embark slowly and consistently—like a drop causing ripples in a calm water body, as does your continuous self-investment effort. The more you invest, the wider the growth and impact.
 
People often associate investments with instant gains. However, self-investment is a marathon, not a sprint—transformations don't happen overnight. They require patience, resilience, and the will to step out of your comfort zone, explore, and be curious about your capabilities.
 
Does it feel uneasy? It should, and that's perfectly okay. Any form of investment involves risks and uncertainties. However, remember, it's always possible to learn, change, and grow. The fruits of these efforts enrich and equip you with skills that propel you in your profession and unfold a better version of you.
 
What if you fall along the way? Ah! But what if you fly?

The very essence of self-investment lies in challenging your doubts and fears. Invest in nurturing your mindset, honing your skills, fuelling your creativity, and cherishing your well-being.
 
At Blue Chip Minds, we believe, and help you believe, in your potential to be exceptional—through our programs, workshops, and self-development modules. We guide you along the path so you can one day reminisce and share your story of transformation with the world.
 
So, how about you start today? Unleash your potential, invest in yourself, and watch the magic unfold.
 
Contact us for more information.

And remember that the biggest investment you can make is in yourself.

​Written and contributed by Stephen Gibb

Around nine months ago, my daughter Willow developed a fear of elevators. Each time we walked towards one, Willow would become hyper-vigilant. Her breath would quicken, and she would cling tightly to me. If I resisted, Willow would begin to cry and become incredibly distressed.

Willow and I live on the top floor of an apartment block. It was upsetting to see her in distress every time we would leave or return home together. My reassurances that elevators held nothing to fear didn’t help. And, while I did my best to convince her, infants don’t care about calming breathing techniques or cognitive reframing when in floods of tears. These tools are, however, very beneficial for adults — more on that later.

On one swelteringly hot day, when the elevator was out of order, Willow and I were forced to climb down and then back up four flights of stairs. Willow complained of sore legs and tiredness every step of the way (other than when I was carrying her of course), which made what happened next even more surprising.

Every day afterwards, Willow asked to use the stairs rather than the elevator, even volunteering to climb all four flights unassisted. Willow had found a way to avoid the uncomfortable feelings brought on by the elevator and was undeterred by the extra effort, discomfort and inconvenience involved.

I, however, wasn’t a fan of Willows labour-intensive plan. I believed she would outgrow her fear and, in what now seems like an act of torture, subjected her to many more stressful rides in the elevator. That was until I understood the underlying cause of her distress.

Fear primarily refers to an experience in which we are faced with an immediate or expected threat to our life or wellbeing. This is called a rational or appropriate fear and is typical and even helpful in dangerous situations. It serves a protective purpose, activating the automatic “fight-or-flight” response to keep us safe.

Another category of fear exists, namely irrational or inappropriate fear. These are fears of something that poses little or no actual danger. Although irrational fears can become so severe that they interfere with everyday life. When they do, they’re called phobias. When confronted with the thing feared, the terror is automatic and overwhelming. The experience can be so nerve-wracking that you will go to great lengths to avoid it — inconveniencing yourself or even changing your lifestyle. This is what was happening to Willow.

As it turns out, Willow didn’t feel threatened by the elevator at all. In fact, the elevator was only a trigger for Willows phobia and experience of anxiety. Willow was anxious about the elevator doors separating her from her dad, and the potential of becoming lost.

Anxiety is a natural part of life and, at normal levels, helps us to function at our best. It’s what motivates us to plan for the future. In this sense, it’s a good thing. It’s that nagging feeling that encourages us to study for that test practice harder for that game or be at our very best in that presentation. However, some people experience such intense anxiety that it is no longer helpful or useful. They may become so overwhelmed and distracted by anxiety that they fail their test, fumble the ball, or spend the whole presentation stumbling over their words and staring at the floor. Anxiety can be incredibly challenging to control and at its worst completely debilitating.

The difference between fear and anxiety is exceptionally nuanced. The perceived threats (physical or imagined) are processed in the same parts of our brain and cause us to experience many similar symptoms and feelings when they occur. However, being able to spot the difference is critical in being able to handle the situation and alleviate the discomfort.

Because Willow never feared the elevator, my attempts to convince her that it was safe were destined to fail. When Willow offered to take the stairs, it wasn’t to avoid using the elevator, it was to dodge the stimulus of the anxiety associated with becoming lost. Willow had stumbled upon a way to suppress the anxiety through avoidance. However, she wasn’t addressing the underlying phobia, meaning there could be numerous other triggers that could cause distress in the future.

Stress, the bodies response to fear and anxiety, is a rapidly increasing challenge of modern society. From an evolutionarily perspective, stress was designed to help us focus on the present moment and by preparing the body to move. It was intended for short irregular applications to help us escape from something or capture something else. Today, however, many of us live in a state of perpetual stress, or, to give it its clinical name, chronic stress. Over time, repeated activation of the stress response takes a toll on the body. It can cause high blood pressure, the formation of artery-clogging deposits, changes in the brain that may lead to depression and addiction and even obesity.

It appears that benign irrational fears can, in fact, be as life-threatening as their rational equivalents. It is critical, therefore, to take steps to lessen stress in life to maintain a clean bill of health.

I am adept at findings ways to relieve the discomfort of stress, and like Willow, will accept sacrifices to do so. These can be as trivial as leaving the house early to avoid busy public transport or as significant as giving up a personal ambition for fear of failure. Regretfully, this behaviour has deprived me of our meaningful opportunities to learn, grow and lead a liberated more vibrant life.

Most people know when something in their life isn’t working. However, they lack the tools to understand what’s wrong and what remedial steps to take. Fear, or more specifically, anxiety, can be a great indicator of what’s not working. It can also be the catalyst and impetus to step outside of our comfort zone to address the root cause and develop as an individual.

The way I permanently address anxiety and alleviate stress is to eliminate the uncertainty associated with the underlying fear. For Willow, that is a work in progress. I’ve been teaching her what to do if we become separated, not just by the elevator but anywhere. However, the solution to becoming lost goes beyond just knowing how to find each other again. It includes reassuring Willow that I am there for her, that she can rely on me and when she is a little older, that she’ll be capable of independence. This is a tougher nut to crack, but we will get there.

Working through uncertainty is a cognitive process of gathering information that invalidates your fear or increases your comprehension of the imagined situation and how to handle it. Providing your brain with the understanding, you can overcome the fear serves to turn down the volume on the anxiety. The more certainty you can develop around fear, the quieter the anxiety and the resultant stress becomes.

Managing uncertainty can take time, and unsurprisingly, anxiety and stress doesn’t disappear while we are trying to develop certainty. It’s beneficial, therefore, to have some tools that can help release the pressure when it all gets too much. The tools below were shared by Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman from Stanford University on a recent Thrive Global post. They act on the core nervous system to shift us from “fight-or-flight” into the “rest-and-digest” state, and in doing so, calm us down.

1. Use Panoramic Vision

The focus of the eyes is closely linked to felt levels of stress. Engaging panoramic vision (looking straight ahead and allowing the peripheral vision to expand), can positively impact stress levels.
When feeling stressed or experiencing a build-up of anxiety. Lifting the gaze away from the screen and looking ahead can have a profoundly positive affect. Or better still, increase the impact by getting outside into nature and viewing the horizon; bonus points for a sunrise or sunset.

2. Exhale Emphasised Breathing/Physiological Sighs

One of the most common things people say when someone is stressed is to take a deep breath. However, studies show that it’s actually the exhale that plays the most significant role in the calming the nervous system. Inhale focused breathing (any breathing technique in which the inhale is longer) increases agitation and stress in the body; which can be valuable under certain circumstances. Exhale emphasised breathing, where the exhale is longer, allows the nervous system to be reset to base levels.

Completing two to five rounds of a physiological sigh — double inhale (breath in, pause, breath in again) and long sigh out the mouth — will be impactful in lowering stress levels.

3. Take Action

Often times when stress arises, the last thing I feel like is doing is moving. I have even found myself in a state of paralysis in exceptional circumstances. Other times I have attempted to suppress the overwhelming feeling of stress because I’m not sure how to handle it. These reactions are counterintuitive to our physiology.

Rising levels of stress are the nervous systems way of encouraging forward movement to take action towards confronting a challenge or problem. Doing so provides the rewarded of a release of dopamine — a feel-good chemical in the brain that is part of the body’s reward system. This dopamine hit suppressed the internal chemicals responsible for the feeling of stress and strengthens the “take action” circuit of the brain. Making it easier to take action the next time stress takes hold.

I can achieve a similar outcome by taking action on something wholly disassociated from the source of the stress. Just succeeding at making a cup of coffee, putting on a load of washing on or making the bed can also stimulate a release of dopamine in moments of heightened distress.

So, what can we learn from Willow, a three-year-old little girl with a fear of becoming lost?

1. All fear, including anxiety-inducing irrational fear, can be life-threatening. What life-threatening anxiety and suffering are you choosing to live with?

2. It’s easier for us to find avoidant workarounds rather than facing our fears. What are the workarounds masking your fears, and inhibiting your growth opportunities?

3. Irrational fear and the resultant feeling of anxiety can be overcome by eliminating uncertainty. What steps will you take to bring certainty to the context of an existing fear?

Just before I published this article, I spoke to some close friends. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing by putting a story about my beloved daughter on the internet. One piece of feedback was so thought-provoking; I thought it worth sharing.

“…maybe change this line, because it is only when it comes to lifts, the line below implies she has it in all situations?

So, what can we learn from Willow, a three-year-old girl with a fear of becoming lost?

I don’t know if you want to label her. All kids look for their parents”

The same concern had crossed my mind. Willows situation is primarily concerning elevators, but there have been other instances too, and most kids do worry about becoming lost. But, I think this is an excellent illustration of a large part of the problem. We are societally scared to label and confront our fears. Instead, we put on a brave face, muddle through and die a little more inside each day.
​
I don’t want that for my daughter or for anyone else. It is my hope that the research I did to write this will allow me to help Willow overcome her fear and that in reading it, others will be inspired to do the same.