 Written By: Georgia Ellis “We live inside the stories we tell ourselves. Some build walls, others open doors.” In the work I do, I see it every day—people feeling stuck, not because they’re lacking skill, drive or opportunity, but because they’re unknowingly living inside a story that no longer fits. These stories don’t always shout. Often, they hum quietly in the background, sounding like helpful advice: “Stay small, it’s safer.” “Don’t ask for too much.” “You’re only valued if you achieve.”
Some of these stories begin in childhood. Others take shape as adults during moments of heightened stress—after betrayal, loss, burnout, redundancy, illness, heartbreak. Our nervous system kicks in, and in an attempt to protect us, it weaves a story that helps us get through. “Don’t trust anyone.” “You’re better off alone.” “Keep going, no matter what.” And at the time, those stories are adaptive. They keep us safe. They help us survive. But then the moment passes. Life changes. We evolve. And the story… doesn’t. That’s something I’ve personally experienced too. After navigating a number of personal relationships that ended due to abandonment and betrayal, I came to realise it wasn’t so much about losing trust in others—it was about losing trust in myself. I began to doubt my ability to make sound decisions, to sense red flags early, and to honour what I felt deep down. This new narrative flowed seemlessy across to my professional life too. But when I really got curious, I could trace that back further. Growing up, I didn’t always receive the kind of emotional support a child needs to develop strong internal signals. My parents did their best, and I have deep compassion for them, but there were gaps. And from those gaps, a part of me developed an intense drive for connection. Not in a dysfunctional way—but in a way that made me rush. I often moved into relationships quickly, desperate to feel emotionally held. I didn’t realise I was overriding my own inner knowing because of a quiet belief running beneath the surface: “I need connection. I need to be chosen. And I need it now.” I’ve since done deep inner work to shift that pattern. Over 20 years ago it was EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) that helped me meet the younger, tender parts of myself and release the emotional charge stored in my body. With tapping, I could gently calm the nervous system and start letting go of the urgency, the shame, the fear. I began to rebuild trust—not just with people around me, but with myself. And over time it changed everything. Today I notice the urge to rush. So I paused I choose with clarity. And I became someone I could count on. Over the last two years, I’ve also been practicing Internal Family Systems (IFS) as part of my own growth. The insights have been profound. One core belief I discovered was: “I can do this alone.” That part of me formed in my early twenties, during a time when I had to make some incredibly tough decisions without much support, and with some outdated beliefs that influenced what I would do. Being strong and independent was how I started to cope with the messiness of life. But as I got older, that belief started to cut me off. I stopped asking for help. I stopped letting people in. I didn’t even realise I was doing it—it was just the air I breathed and I thought it was a stoic strength, a sign of true independence. Through IFS, I met that part of me with compassion. I saw the strength it carried, and I thanked it. But I also gently let it know: You don’t have to do this all alone anymore. And from that point on, my life became more connected. I started reaching out. I built richer relationships. I let people support me. And it felt good. This is what I mean when I say we live inside the stories we tell ourselves. And if those stories are outdated or built in survival mode, they can quietly build walls around our potential and around the people we share life with. But here’s the empowering part: those stories can be rewritten. Using tools like IFS, EFT and even journaling, you can begin exploring the roots of your inner narrative. You can identify the parts of you that are still trying to protect you—even when you no longer need protecting in the same way. And you can gently help those parts update their beliefs, making space for more aligned, supportive stories to emerge. If you’re ready to explore this yourself, here are a few gentle steps: First, notice the narrative. When you feel stuck, anxious, or reactive—pause and ask: What story am I telling myself right now? Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it from the present moment—or from a past version of me? (These are great journaling prompts) Then, tune into the part that’s holding the story. Where do you feel it in your body? What emotion is there? You might even ask, in your mind, “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t hold this belief?” Just listen. You don’t have to fix anything. Curiosity alone creates space for change. If you’re interested in EFT, there are plenty of great resources to guide you—I’ve even recorded a podcast with an EFT expert that walks through the basics. It’s a simple yet powerful way to gently shift the emotional charge behind limiting beliefs. You can catch it here https://youtu.be/8y_UTlaO-Ew?si=tlybdWkkPK-4lk4y (or reach out for a step by step guide) And if IFS speaks to you, you might like to begin naming your parts—just noticing them as they show up in daily life. You might hear yourself think, “A part of me feels like a failure,” or “A part of me is terrified of rejection.” That’s a beautiful beginning. Meet those parts with kindness. Thank them. Ask them what they need. My coaching clients often benefit from this work too. Because I’ve walked through these stories myself, I continue to draw on tools like EFT and IFS with clients when they’re needed—not as a fixed formula, but as a responsive, compassionate way to support real transformation. These approaches, and the deeper philosophy behind them, are also thoughtfully woven through the programs I deliver—both in organisations and to the general public—because I believe that understanding the stories we live by is foundational to lasting change and living a truly fulfilling life. You don’t need to fight your story. You just need to listen to it, understand it, and then lovingly choose to write a new one. You are not broken. You are brilliantly adaptive. And you hold the pen now. Write well!
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 Guiding Teams to Success in People Management You glance around your desk, a sense of overwhelm washing over you. The emails pile higher, deadlines loom, and simmering tensions between team members threaten to boil over. Does this scenario feel all too familiar? Leading a team can be incredibly rewarding, but managing diverse personalities, navigating conflicts, and fostering a productive environment can feel like an impossible juggling act. A recent Gallup study found that a staggering 85% of employees worldwide are not engaged at work. Yikes! That's a significant productivity drain and a clear sign that traditional management styles might be missing the mark. What if there was a secret weapon you could use to transform your team from frustrated to flourishing? A skill that unlocks creativity fosters collaboration, and allows you to navigate the complexities of people management confidently? Enter mental complexity. It's the magic ingredient that separates good managers from great ones. It's the ability to see multiple perspectives, adapt to changing situations, and think critically – all essential skills for navigating the ever-evolving landscape of today's workforce. Intrigued? Keep reading to discover how you can unlock mental complexity within yourself and your team, turning people management from a source of stress to a source of success. What Is Mental Complexity, And Why Does It Matter? Mental complexity is the ability to think and act more sophisticatedly and adaptively. It is the ability to understand and appreciate different perspectives, contexts, and systems and to respond to them effectively. Mental complexity is the key to unlocking your leadership potential and achieving your personal and professional goals. According to a study by Korn Ferry, leaders with higher mental complexity are more likely to be successful, innovative, and influential than those with lower levels. They are also more likely to create a positive and productive team culture where their team members can grow, learn, and perform at their best. So, how do you become a people management maestro, fostering a thriving and innovative team environment? Let's break it down into a few key steps: 1. Know Your Team (Inside and Out!) People aren't widgets on a production line. Each team member brings unique strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. Invest time in getting to know them – not just their job titles, but their preferred work styles, career goals, and even their sense of humour (a little team bonding goes a long way!) Action Step: Schedule regular one-on-one meetings to delve deeper than project updates. 2. Embrace Transparency and Communication Information silos are the enemy of a collaborative team. Foster open communication by sharing project updates, company goals, and challenges. When team members feel informed and valued, they're more likely to go the extra mile. Action Step: Hold regular team meetings with an open discussion format. Encourage questions, concerns, and – yes – even a healthy dose of debate! 3. Empower, Don't Micromanage Micromanagement is the creativity killer. Trust your team members and give them the autonomy to own their tasks. This fosters a sense of responsibility and allows individuals to leverage their strengths. Action Step: Delegate tasks based on individual strengths and provide clear goals, but give your team the freedom to find solutions. 4. Celebrate Wins (Big and Small!) Recognition is a powerful motivator. Don't wait for the big promotion to celebrate achievements. A simple "thank you" or public acknowledgement can go a long way in boosting morale and inspiring continued excellence. Action Step: Create a "kudos board" where team members can recognize each other's contributions. 5. Embrace Continuous Learning (For Yourself and Your Team) The world of work is constantly evolving. The best teams are lifelong learners eager to adapt and acquire new skills. As a leader, it's crucial to model this behaviour. Action Step: Dedicate time for your professional development. Encourage your team to attend workshops, conferences, or online courses relevant to their roles. Ready to Level Up Your People Management Skills? Building mental complexity doesn't happen overnight, but it's worth taking. Blue Chip Minds offers programs like Leadership Accelerator, The Art of People Management, and Future Ready Leaders Toolkit to help individuals and teams build the skills they need to thrive in a complex world.
Feeling a little uneasy? Don't worry! Investing in your mental complexity and becoming a people management maestro is always possible. Contact us today and watch your team flourish!  Contributed by: Georgia Ellis Have you ever known what to do to experience the results you want but somehow you just can’t do what you know you need to do? The thing is…. I know you have… because I have too. I have spent 20+ years gathering all sorts of information from books, podcasts, training, seminars and experts, a hellova lot of knowledge, yet for the most part… I do nothing with it… a potential waste of my time and money. Having had a fascination, and also worked, in the human potential and personal effectiveness space for the same amount of time I have witnessed first-hand how participants of my programs, coaching clients and I have all struggled with this often frustrating phenomena. But, I have also noticed an anomaly… It seems that the people with high levels of self-discipline are the ones who take the information they gather and do something with it… going on to achieve success across different aspects of their life such as improved physical health, more resilience and better personal and professional relationships. And once I understood this anomaly… I began to put it to use, I decided, that if I wasn’t going to commit to putting into action the things I learn, I wasn’t going to waste my time (or money) on gathering more information that may make me sound smart… but it sure as hell wouldn’t make me wise! My decisions had to be backed with a high level of self-discipline. Many years ago one of my mentors provided me with a description of self -disciple that changed the game for me personally. He said “Self-discipline is the ability to give yourself a command and then follow it” Self-discipline is also a key component to building trust, you’ve likely heard it plenty of times… “do what you say you will do” – but when it comes to self-discipline its actually a conversation that occurs in the safety, and privacy, of your head, where no one else knows what you are attempting to commit to, effectively know one will know if you fail… except you. Self-discipline is the ability to trust yourself to act, even when no one else knows what you are striving towards. If I couldn’t commit to the commands I gave myself to adopt new and improved ways of being – then my personal and professional goals were going to be relegated to the realm of wishful thinking,… and I’d stay stuck right where I was! While the principle is simple in theory, I know from personal experience that it can be profoundly challenging in practice. For those of you navigating the business world, attempting to meet objectives, manage a team or prevent burnout, mastering self-discipline can make the difference between thriving and burning out, between been trapped in a cycle of drama and being empowered, between mediocrity and excellence, and between influencing not only personal performance but also the success of entire teams and organisations. Understanding Self-Discipline At its core, self-discipline involves having clear goals, making deliberate choices, and consistently acting in alignment with those decisions. It’s about resisting the temptation to deviate from your path, regardless of distractions or difficulties. The concept is elegantly captured in the adage: “Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t want to do it.” I have noticed that some people (those less effective in achieving goals) can easily put off doing what’s required to get to where they want to go – as Don Sula said – “It’s the start that stops most people.” The Knowing-Doing Gap One of the significant challenges in achieving self-discipline is the knowing-doing gap, a term popularised by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton in their influential book, “The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action.” This gap refers to the disconnect between consciously knowing what needs to be done (information held at a conscious level) and actually doing it (a role of our subconscious mind). For most of us this gap can be a formidable barrier to success. In most instances, we are well aware of what we need to do to achieve our goals. We attend seminars, read books, and develop strategic plans. However, translating this knowledge into consistent action is where many falter. This gap can stem from various factors, including fear of failure, low levels of self-awareness, lack of confidence, not understanding how the mind works, and the allure of short-term rewards over long-term benefits. Overcoming the Knowing-Doing Gap with Self-Discipline Bridging the knowing-doing gap requires a concerted effort to cultivate self-discipline. Here are some strategies to enhance your self-discipline and ensure that your actions align with your knowledge and goals: 1. Get clear on what it is you want and why: Ask yourself questions like, “What is It I really want in this situation?”, “Is this what I want or is it what I think others want me to achieve or who others want me to be?”, “What will achieving this goal bring to my life/career?” or “How will reaching this goal impact my long-term happiness and fulfillment?”, “How grateful would my future self be if I set out on this goal today?”, “How will others benefit when I achieve my goal?” A goal that you are emotionally connected to often provides the intrinsic motivation to get started. 2. Develop a Routine: Consistent routines and habits can reduce the mental energy required to make decisions, making it easier to stay disciplined. And when your intrinsic motivation begins to wane, any well-honed practices that are now routines will run on autopilot, requiring very little (if any) self-motivation. 3. Prioritise Tasks: Set yourself up for success with written to-do lists. It may sound basic, but it really works. When we write down tasks the night before, our subconscious mind processes them while we sleep, often leading to fresh ideas and solutions by morning. This mental preparation helps us wake up ready to tackle the day with greater focus and effectiveness, ensuring that we hit the ground running and accomplish our goals more efficiently. Remember to focus on high-priority tasks that align with your long-term goals. Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to differentiate between urgent and important tasks, ensuring that your efforts are directed toward activities that yield the best results. 4. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, reducing impulsivity and enhancing self-control. Techniques such as meditation and journaling can foster greater self-awareness and discipline. 5. Hold Yourself Accountable: Establish accountability mechanisms, such as regular self-reflection, peer reviews, or mentorship. Being accountable to others can reinforce your commitment to disciplined action. 6. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity: Fear of failure often paralyses action. Reframe failure as a valuable learning experience and an integral part of the growth process. This mindset shift can reduce anxiety and enhance your willingness to take disciplined action. Self-Discipline and Flow I bet you’ve felt it before, those times when you feel like you are performing like a superhuman… you’re devouring your to do list in record time , fresh ideas are emerging, information you have gathered is effortlessly finding a home in your work and time has no meaning to you, Oh and did I mention that it feels amazing! This optimal state is known in the circles I move in as “flow”. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a renowned psychologist, studied this and found that you reach flow when you have both self-discipline and the ability to let go, or surrender. When you practice self-discipline, you set yourself up to enter this flow state more often. Discipline helps you start tasks and stay on track, while surrender helps you enjoy the process without worrying too much. At the intersection of discipline and surrender, you can find flow, which is a sure fire way to increase your personal effectiveness! The Role of Self-Discipline in Leadership If you manage or lead people, modelling self-discipline sets a powerful example for your team. When your team members observe you consistently following through on commitments, prioritising long-term goals over short-term gains, and maintaining a disciplined approach to work, they are more likely to adopt similar behaviours. This creates a culture of discipline within the organization, driving collective success. You can foster self-discipline in you teams by providing clear expectations (goals), linking those goals to what matters to them, offering support and resources, and recognising and rewarding disciplined behaviour. Encouraging a growth mindset and resilience in the face of challenges can also help team members develop their self-discipline. The Hidden Benefit of Self-Discipline that Few People Know. A few weeks ago, I caught up with a business owner who shared his lack of good routines and he asked whether my practices changed when I traveled for work. I said "No they don’t…" He then commented on how disciplined I was with my morning routine and life in general (what I like to call my not negotiable’s) I simply replied… "It’s easy to be disciplined when you realise it gives you more freedom". As a coach and facilitator on all things personal and leadership effectiveness, I have witnessed many a person who lacks discipline and their life and work is riddled with stress, chaos, burn out and health issues… If you want to perform or feel better, I suggest you start falling in love with a disciplined life! Start by determining your ‘Not Negotiables’ - and then stick to them – no matter what, at first it will require a big dose of will-power, and over time those regular practices will become who you are! In today’s fast-paced business world, the ability to stay disciplined is a game-changer. Here’s why discipline is your key to more freedom: Achieve Your Goals: Discipline helps you consistently reach your goals, paving the way for growth and fulfillment. Master Your Time: Effective time management through discipline eliminates last-minute stress and gives you more time to do what you love. Reduce Stress: Order and predictability reduce stress, allowing you to focus on the demands of life with a clear mind. Form Healthy Habits: Turning positive actions into automatic habits frees up mental energy for creative and strategic thinking. Boost Confidence: Consistent discipline builds self-confidence, empowering you to tackle new challenges and lead yourself with a sense of assurance. Over to You Self-discipline is a vital attribute for bridging the gap between knowing and doing. Discipline really is the bridge between goals and accomplishment - and you need to build that bridge if you want a better life!. Resources Available to You:
 How to Effortlessly Unleash Your Creativity and Insight Contributed by: Georgia Ellis Getting out of bed usually takes me a while, and I used to think this was a bad thing. Why aren’t I jumping out of bed like everyone else? I had pretty good sleep hygiene practices and usually get between 7-8 hours of sleep… surely I can get up straight away… but I couldn’t… I even began to feel a little guilty at my slower start to the day, especially when people like Mel Robbins (American podcast host, author, motivational speaker, and former lawyer) devoted an entire book to “The 5 Second Rule” - a simple technique to encourage us to leap out of the sweet warm comfort of our beds and go get our goals… Robbins used it to help herself get out of bed, back in her tough days. She found that if she counted backwards; “5-4-3-2-1 and ACTION!”, she would stop making excuses and jump right up. I won’t deny that having a hard time waking up in the morning could be the result of the natural effects of sleep inertia, your sleep habits and schedule, or sometimes other conditions… but in my case, there was something else going on, something that seemed to leave me feeling inspired and set me up for the day… I noticed that if I lingered in bed for roughly 10-15 minutes upon waking, something magical began to happen…Ideas and solutions would bubble up from within my psyche… ideas for programs and offerings, solutions to problems I was facing and even ways to have challenging conversations I was avoiding would present themselves.
As I lay there, I seemed to have access to what Napoleon Hill refers to in his seminal work “Think and Grow Rich” as “Infinite Intelligence”. According to Hill, Infinite Intelligence refers to a universal, all-encompassing intelligence that exists beyond the realm of human understanding. It's a form of divine intelligence that is accessible to individuals through their subconscious minds. Hill suggests that Infinite Intelligence is the source of all inspiration, creativity, and knowledge. It's the force that can guide individuals toward their goals and desires if they learn to tap into it effectively. Is this what I was tapping into as I lingered longer in bed? According to Hill, we can communicate with and receive guidance from this infinite intelligence, which can help us achieve our goals. Let's face it, as business owners, managers, and leaders, we're constantly striving to innovate, solve problems, and drive success. But what if we are overlooking one of the most powerful moments for creativity and insight that happens not in the boardroom, or brainstorming session but in the quiet moments between sleep and wakefulness? Picture this: you wake up in the morning, the soft glow of dawn filtering through your window. Instead of immediately leaping out of bed and diving into the day's tasks, you take a moment to linger, to let your mind gently transition from the depths of sleep to the clarity of wakefulness. It's in this seemingly idle moment that magic can happen. The science behind this phenomenon is fascinating. As we transition from sleep to wakefulness, our brain undergoes a subtle but significant shift in activity. During deep sleep, our brain produces delta waves, associated with restorative rest. But as we awaken, our brain begins to generate alpha and theta waves, which are linked to relaxation and creativity. It's during this transition that our subconscious mind comes to life. While we sleep, our brains are hard at work processing memories, emotions, and even problem-solving tasks. Ideas and insights percolate beneath the surface, waiting for the opportune moment to emerge. By taking a few moments to linger in bed upon waking, we create a space for these ideas to land. We tap into our subconscious reservoir, allowing creativity to flow freely. This relaxed state of mind, coupled with the transition in brainwave activity, sets the stage for breakthrough thinking and innovative solutions. But for some, lingering in bed can be torture when our lives are full of work and home life responsibilities that don’t allow for an extra 10 minutes under the blankets. If you want to take advantage of this powerful state without staying in bed, try delaying devices, screen time, and coffee until after low cognitive activities such as yoga, a shower or a walk. These activities have been known to also produce ideas and insights. There is also the danger of staying in bed too long as you will naturally move out of the Alpha/Theta creative state into the more active Beta brainwave, where your analytical mind and inner critic will start to emerge. So, if you can take a few extra moments in the morning, be sure to get up and act on the ideas and insights that emerge. For me, I usually head straight to my home office and write down the ideas that present themselves, then go about my morning routine and return to my office to take inspired action. Point in case, the idea for this article bubbled up earlier this week, I made a note of it when I got up, did some research, and scheduled today to write and post it. Remaining in bed is not just about the science. It's also about mindfulness and reflection. In our fast-paced world, we're often guilty of rushing from one task to the next without pausing to breathe. By lingering in bed for a few moments each morning, we practice mindfulness. We become more present, more aware of our thoughts and feelings. This mindfulness sets a positive tone for the day ahead, enhancing our overall well-being and mental clarity. So, the next time you find yourself tempted to leap out of bed as soon as you wake up, whether you feel like it or not, like the famous influencers are telling us to do, consider this: don’t reach for your phone, but give yourself permission to linger for just a few moments longer. You might unlock the key to your next big idea. Embrace the transition from sleep to wakefulness and watch as creativity and insight flourish. Your success may just depend on it. Embrace your Artificial Self  Contributed by: Georgia Ellis “I want to discover my Leadership style” said one participant at the kick off masterclass of the 22 week emerging leader program - The Future Ready Leaders Toolkit. What she said was in response to my question “What are your intentions for the program and why are you here?” The other participants began to nod in agreement. They too wanted to find their "true selves". Sure this sounds like a great goal… (and one that I hear a lot in the work I do) "Find out who I am as a leader" (or as a human)… "Uncover my authentic style"…. But... is it really a worthy goal? In the pursuit of leadership or personal excellence, we often encounter the notion of authenticity as a guiding principle. We're urged to be true to ourselves, to lead and live with integrity, and to remain genuine in our interactions. However, a deeper exploration into the philosophy of human nature challenges this rather simplistic view. In Michael Puett and Christine Gross-Loh's book, "The Path", they delve into the writings of various Chinese philosophers including Xunzi, who distinguishes between human nature and artifice. Xunzi asserts that human nature, while innate, is not inherently virtuous. Instead, it's the product of conditioning and societal influences. He argues that true human nature is revealed when our innate inclinations are refined and shaped through conscious effort – what he terms as "artifice." Xunzi's perspective resonates with the timeless wisdom of James Allen's "As a Man Thinketh." Allen emphasizes the power of thought in shaping one's character and destiny. He suggests that the noble and god-like character we aspire to isn't a product of chance but the result of deliberate cultivation through right thinking and sustained effort. At first glance, these philosophies may seem contradictory to the modern notion of authenticity in leadership and finding our true self. After all, aren't we encouraged to be genuine and true to ourselves? However, upon deeper reflection, it becomes apparent that authenticity, as commonly understood, is a myth. The idea that we can simply be ourselves without any external influence or intentional effort overlooks the complexity of human nature. Xunzi ‘s and James Allen’s ideas shaped my response to the participants who wanted to ‘discover’ their leadership style… I challenged them to think a little differently, instead of discovering who they had become because of external forces, I invited the to ‘create’ who they wanted to be as a leader, empowering them to let go of any limiting beliefs or ideas that may have been handed to them from society, and to self author their leadership journey. As leaders (and humans), we're constantly navigating various roles, responsibilities, and expectations. We interact with diverse stakeholders, adapt to changing circumstances, and strive to inspire and motivate others. In this dynamic environment, being true to a static, unchanging self is neither practical nor desirable. Instead, we must embrace the concept of artifice – the conscious effort to cultivate our character, refine our skills, adapt and shape our leadership style. This doesn't mean being inauthentic or pretending to be someone we're not. Rather, it's about recognising that our authentic self is not fixed but fluid, shaped by our choices, experiences, and deliberate actions. Just as an artist crafts a masterpiece through skillful manipulation of materials, we must also create ourselves through intentional practice and refinement. The process of self-creation requires humility, self-awareness, and a willingness to challenge our assumptions and beliefs and become aware of our biases. In essence, authenticity isn't found in staying true to some unchanging essence of self, but rather in the sincerity and integrity with which we engage in the ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth. It's about aligning our actions with our values, inspiring trust through consistent behaviour, and fostering genuine connections with others. So, as you bust the authenticity myth, you liberate yourself from the constraints of the what was and embrace the transformative power of artifice with “what if” and “who could I be”. I invite you to cultivate the best version of yourself through self reflection, choosing who you want to be, conscious and persistent effort, continuous learning, and a commitment to being the best version of you so, you not only fulfill your potential but also inspire others to do the same. Opportunities for to Self Discovery and Continuous Learning  Contributed by: Georgia Ellis My Personal Journey of Self-Empowerment In my current and previous roles as a leader, coach, and facilitator, I've discovered that confidence isn't just a trait; it's a mindset that can be cultivated and honed over time. Recently I facilitated management/leadership training for a group of predominantly male, blue-collar managers, the group was a mix of office-based managers and workshop managers who managed skilled fabricators. Most in the room had never had any form of management or leadership training before and I was a little apprehensive around the reception I’d receive. We got off to a flying start, a little bit of humour and storytelling goes a long way to making those not used to being boxed up in a small conference room for a full day feel at ease. We finally made it to the morning tea break when a male participant mentioned that he was really good at reading people, so I challenged him by asking “What’s your read on me?” his reply “ I can tell you have a lot of self-confidence, the way you handled a room of what I would consider a difficult audience and had everyone contributing withing the first 30 minutes shows both that you are passionate about what you do and you know your stuff”. It was a lovely compliment, and put me further at ease for the rest of the day… but it also got me thinking… I wasn’t always this way… I hadn't always exuded confidence... what had I done that allowed me to display an air of confidence that was clearly noticeable by other people? Upon reflection I realised that my journey towards greater confidence began with a simple yet powerful approach that accelerated my progress: flooding my subconscious with a vision of the person I aspired to be. Through mental and physical rehearsal, I ingrained confidence into my very being until it became second nature. Drawing on my intrigue into human potential and the knowledge I had gained over 20+ years deep diving how to harness our mind, in particular the subconscious aspect of our mind that drives up to 95% of our results. I had gathered and tested various approaches that allowed me to retrain my subconscious mind. My journey lead me to the discoveries in neuroscience, psychology and even some ancient wisdom, all telling the story of the part of us that we have come to know as our 'default network' and how we can use the 5% of our mind to consciously make changes to our outdated programming, beliefs and ideas. I then took what I had learned and applied it to my own life, I created a new identity - one that oozed confidence. This is what I did, and if you feel you could do with a bit of a confidence top up, I invite you to experiment with the ideas in your own life. Tip 1: Immerse Yourself in Your Vision: I flooded my mind with images of myself as a confident, assertive woman. Visualising success in various scenarios helped reshape my subconscious beliefs about my abilities. Tip 2: Prepare and Rehearse: Confidence grows when we confront our fears head-on. By gathering information, planning my approach, and mentally rehearsing before challenging situations, I pre-emptively tackled doubts and uncertainties. Tip 3: Practice, Practice, Practice: Whether it's mastering a new skill or navigating difficult conversations, consistent practice breeds confidence. (I rehearsed everything even my new identity) I embraced every opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, knowing that each experience contributed to my growth as a leader. How did I know it worked?
Applying these principles proved that confidence isn't an innate trait reserved for a select few; it's a mindset that can be cultivated through deliberate effort and perseverance. Yes we can change our identity and confidently step out of the self-imposed boxes we find ourselves in. If I can do it, you can too... but it takes effort! Change is not passive! So, I invite you to embrace the power of visualisation, preparation, and practice to unlock your full potential, to step out with greater confidence and be a positive role model in our ever-changing world. Remember: Confidence isn't just a destination—it's a journey of self-discovery and empowerment and changing who you are starts by changing how you think – the thinking parts the easy bit!  Future Market Insights asserts that the Australian leadership development program market has a projected CAGR of 8.9% from 2023 to 2033. Notably, technology-driven learning methods are increasingly adopted within leadership development programs. "Leadership is not merely giving orders; it's about inspiring, guiding, and adapting to the future. Embrace technology-driven learning to cultivate extraordinary leaders," says business expert Olivia Jones of Askfunding.– Australia's top loan and financial provider. Leadership isn't just about giving orders and making decisions; it's about inspiring, motivating, and guiding the team toward success. Dive into how coaching and professional development programs can turn ordinary leaders into extraordinary ones. 1. Developing Soft Skills with a Smile Coaching programs often focus on soft skills like empathy, active listening, and emotional intelligence. It's like the chocolate chips in the leadership cookie—they make the whole experience sweeter! Coaching helps to understand your team's needs and motivations, fostering a positive work environment. It builds trust among members and a sense of belongingness 2. Boosting Self-Awareness Coaching programs often include self-assessment tools and exercises to help you better understand your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. It's like having a mirror that reflects your leadership persona to you. It leads to confidence, more informed decisions, a tailored leadership style, and realistic goals. It's like upgrading your leadership armor to withstand any challenge! 3. A Playbook For Success Professional development programs help leaders develop a deeper understanding of their roles through workshops, seminars, and interactive sessions. It's like attending an action-packed boot camp where you hone your leadership skills, and instead of push-ups, you do problem-solving exercises. Life Reloaded, Superior Thinkers Toolbox, and Future Ready Leaders Toolkit are programs that can upgrade your leadership skills. Whether mastering new technology, understanding market dynamics, or refining your project management skills, these programs turn you into a leader who's always ahead of the game. 4. Highlights The Value Of Feedback Coaching empowers leaders by offering a safe space for self-reflection, feedback, and goal setting. It's a two-way street where a team can grow together. Through open dialogue and constructive criticism, coaches help leaders identify strengths and weaknesses and enhance their skills. They also hold you responsible for your commitments and track your progress. 5. Playful Experimentation And Innovation Professional development programs often encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. It's like having a laboratory where you can conduct playful experiments in your leadership approach. By exploring fresh ideas and taking calculated risks, you'll discover innovative solutions to old problems. It's like inventing your leadership magic! 6. Building A Support Network Coaching and professional development programs introduce you to a network of like-minded individuals. It's like joining an exclusive club where you can exchange ideas, experiences, and support, helping you tackle challenges with newfound confidence. Refine Your Leadership Style With Blue Chip Minds Coaching and professional development programs are the unsung heroes in the world of leadership.
A powerful ripple effect arises as leaders become empowered through coaching and professional development programs. Like a stone thrown into a pond, the impact goes far beyond the initial point of contact. Blue Chip Minds is an organisation dedicated to cultivating the talents of young minds and helping them thrive in the world of technology, science, and entrepreneurship. We help individuals develop essential skills and knowledge to become future leaders! Contact us to learn about Australia’s top global professional development solutions provider. This Blog was written to help you understand one of the most bewildering communication approaches - Ghosting. If you have had someone suddenly and intentionally cut off all communication with you without any explanation, justification, or warning after a period of consistent communication or even after a few interactions the following information may help you understand why they may have disappeared. It's not a 'magic' trick... there's so much more to this complex (and often hurtful) behavior. In the Blog I focus predominately on the ten common reasons why someone may have suddenly disappeared from your life. I look at it from the 'Ghosters' mindset. This doesn't mean the one who has been 'Ghosted' hasn't played a part in the situation.  Contributor: Georgia Ellis In the work I do I am often helping my clients make sense of situations where all of a sudden communication with another person suddenly ceases without any real explanation. I too have experienced this personally and professionally (Mostly from decision makers in large organisations who engage my services, get a proposal and then… nothing but crickets), its bewildering, hurtful and often frustrating to the person who has been cut off and even if we have the mental complexity and emotional awareness to meet the demands of the situation, if the other person doesn’t then what we thought were meaningful relationships can suddenly slip away. “The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained.” — Jonathan Harnisch, Freak Ghosting really is a bit of a head-scratcher in today's world and sadly it seems to be happening more and more. 👻 If you’ve experienced it firsthand and wondered why people choose to ghost others, let me help you with some of the psychology behind this complex (and often hurtful) behavior. Why Ghosting Happens Ghosting isn't just about a lack of communication skills on the part of the person doing the ghosting. It often stems from a mix of emotions, circumstances, emotional immaturity, and limited mental complexity (sometimes by both parties). 10 Reasons Why You're Being Ghosted 1. Lack of Maturity Immature individuals might prioritise their own needs, feelings and comfort over the impact of their actions on others. This can sometimes occur on both sides of the Ghosting situation. For the ‘Ghoster’ sudden disconnection can seem like an easy way to avoid discomfort without considering the emotional toll it can take on the other person and for the ‘Ghosted’ they may be ignorant of the impact they are having on others. 2. Limited Mental Complexity Some individuals struggle to fully grasp the impact of their actions on others due to limited interpersonal skills and inability to understand different perspectives, values and emotions. 3. Accountability Avoidance Someone lacking maturity or mental complexity might struggle with taking responsibility for their actions. Ghosting provides an escape from facing the consequences of their behavior or explaining themselves. 4. Conflict Avoidance Sometimes, the fear of confrontation or difficult conversations leads people to ghost. It's like hitting the "escape" button to avoid discomfort. 5. Uncertainty When feelings are murky or they're unsure about the relationship's direction, ghosting can seem like a way to buy time and figure things out. 6. Digital Disconnect In today's digital age, the emotional impact of ghosting might feel less real due to the impersonal nature of online communication. The growing need for instant replies may make you think you’ve been ghosted when someone has simply switched off. 7. Self-Protection Individuals with low self-esteem or a fear of rejection might ghost as a defense mechanism to shield themselves from potential hurt. 8. Emotional Immaturity Ghosting can arise from a lack of emotional maturity, making it challenging to navigate and communicate complex feelings and handle relationships with consideration. 9. Inexperience in Relationships Individuals who are less experienced in navigating relationships might resort to ghosting as a coping mechanism simply because they haven't yet learned healthier ways to handle your behaviour. (a curse of our digital world) 10. Priorities Clash Sometimes, juggling life's demands can become overwhelming, leading someone to unintentionally disconnect. A Call For Empathy While ghosting might seem like an easy way out, in the long run it’s an uneducated approach that pulls humanity backwards. If you use Ghosting as an approach, or you have been Ghosted, it's essential to reflect on the role you are playing in the situation and consider the emotions on the other side. In the communication masterclasses I run we highlight the need to bring more curiosity, courage and compassion to our interactions and remembering that we're all human (yes we make mistakes - #apologise) By dialing up these three approaches we can create stronger meaningful connections. “The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn’t want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love Healthy Alternatives: Instead of ghosting, build your emotional intelligence and mental complexity by trying some of these healthier ways to manage relationships: 1. Open Communication: Share your thoughts and feelings to help others better understand whats going on and collaborate on a resolution. 2. Setting Boundaries: It's okay to take space, but communicate that you need time or your needs have changed instead of disappearing. Share whats important to you in the situation and why you may need some time. 3. Honesty: If the connection isn't right, be upfront and respectful about your feelings. 4. Empathy: Put yourself in the other person's shoes—how would you want to be treated? A Better Way: Ghosting might be common, but it doesn't have to be the norm.
Respectful communication, empathy, and consideration for others should ideally be part of healthy interpersonal interactions, regardless of one's level of maturity or mental complexity. I invite you join the movement that values communication, self awareness, understanding, and compassion. By treating others the way we'd like to be treated, we can foster healthier connections and build a more empathetic world. 💙 "Step toward a better you. Step into self-investment." This mantra was the stepping stone that transformed my life from the ordinary to the extraordinary.  Contributed by Layla Wyatt, inspired by the Blue Chip Minds Journey. What is Self Investment?The Australian Government Department of Education, Skills and Employment defined self-investment as a commitment to learning and development to enhance one's skills and capability, fostering personal and professional growth. Let's plunge into a saga of self-investment and transformation in the essence of a story.
“We believe that self-investment is a game changer. It's the key to unlocking your potential and transforming your future. It's not just about financial growth, but personal growth and fulfilling your dreams," says Shane Perry, entrepreneur and small business loan provider at Max Funding. I still vividly recall those days, looking at my life cycle spinning around like a hamster wheel - work, eat, and sleep. My day-to-day routine was secure, stable and unchanging; even an inkling of uncertainty was conspicuously absent. But living this structured life casts a shroud over the potential spark within me. I was comfortable, yet unsatisfied. I yearned for a challenge, a catalyst that would stimulate my growth, personally and professionally. Throughout this time, I found solace in an incredibly profound quote: "The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday." These words hit me like a gust of fresh wind, pushing me towards the edge of my comfort zone. They became the beacon guiding me on the path of transformation - self-investment. Unlike popular opinion, this path did not involve a monetary commitment. Still, it required a more personal commitment of persistent effort, undivided focus, and endless patience towards personal growth and self-improvement. Fast forward to today, I've developed this same transformative opportunity through programs like 'Life Reloaded', 'Superior Thinker’s Toolbox', and 'Future Ready Leaders Toolkit' at my initiative, Blue Chip Minds. These programs are carefully designed to help individuals and teams build mental complexity – just as it helped me. Self-investment doesn't require an extravagant leap. Embark slowly and consistently—like a drop causing ripples in a calm water body, as does your continuous self-investment effort. The more you invest, the wider the growth and impact. People often associate investments with instant gains. However, self-investment is a marathon, not a sprint—transformations don't happen overnight. They require patience, resilience, and the will to step out of your comfort zone, explore, and be curious about your capabilities. Does it feel uneasy? It should, and that's perfectly okay. Any form of investment involves risks and uncertainties. However, remember, it's always possible to learn, change, and grow. The fruits of these efforts enrich and equip you with skills that propel you in your profession and unfold a better version of you. What if you fall along the way? Ah! But what if you fly? The very essence of self-investment lies in challenging your doubts and fears. Invest in nurturing your mindset, honing your skills, fuelling your creativity, and cherishing your well-being. At Blue Chip Minds, we believe, and help you believe, in your potential to be exceptional—through our programs, workshops, and self-development modules. We guide you along the path so you can one day reminisce and share your story of transformation with the world. So, how about you start today? Unleash your potential, invest in yourself, and watch the magic unfold. Contact us for more information. And remember that the biggest investment you can make is in yourself.  The Australian Department of Health emphasised that mental health is critical to our well-being. Virtual gatherings, events, and training programs have become increasingly popular ways to support mental health and maintain social connections during these challenging times. "Virtual gatherings and events have become a lifeline for many individuals during these challenging times, providing a safe and supportive environment for maintaining social connections and supporting mental health. Training programs can also be crucial in building mental complexity and developing new tools for navigating life,” says virtual events extraordinaire Shaun Stephens at Loghic Connect. In this article, we'll explore the mental health benefits of virtual gatherings and events and how training programs can help individuals build cognitive complexity. Virtual meetings and events offer many mental health benefits, including the following: 1. Maintaining Social Connections
2. Reducing Stress And AnxietyVirtual gatherings and events offer a safe and comfortable environment where individuals can connect with others without the added stress of leaving their homes. This can be particularly helpful for individuals who experience anxiety or stress related to social situations or travelling. Additionally, these virtual events can provide an excellent opportunity for those with introverted tendencies to participate at their own pace and engage more confidently in social interactions. By offering a more controlled and less overwhelming environment, virtual events allow these individuals to relax and engage in activities that promote relaxation, stress reduction, and a sense of social connection. 3. Providing A Sense Of Community Virtual gatherings and events can create community and belonging by transcending geographical boundaries and cultural differences. One of the significant benefits of these global virtual events is the opportunity to interact with people from different cultures and countries without the need to leave your home or office. For example, imagine participating in a leadership course alongside a manager from Dubai, a leader from Poland, a coach from Sweden, and a leader from Melbourne, all hailing from different industries. This diverse environment fosters a rich learning experience, as participants can gain insights and perspectives from various cultural backgrounds, enhancing their understanding of global issues and promoting cross-cultural communication skills. 4. Learning New Skills Virtual events (such as conferences and summits) and training programs allow us to learn new skills and expand our knowledge alongside diverse people from different backgrounds and cultures. This can help individuals build mental complexity and develop new tools to navigate life. Learning new skills can also promote a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem, improving mental health and well-being. Another significant advantage of virtual events is the ability to fit your learning into your lifestyle without travelling to a specific location. This flexibility makes education and personal development more accessible, allowing individuals to balance their personal and professional commitments while pursuing growth and development opportunities. This adaptability can lead to reduced stress and greater control over one's life, further promoting mental health and well-being. 5. Building Mental Complexity Mental complexity involves seeing multiple perspectives and understanding the complexities of different situations. It consists in having a flexible mindset and adapting to changing circumstances. Mental complexity is essential for navigating life and can be developed through training programs. Virtual events and training programs can provide tools and strategies for managing stress and anxiety, improving mental resilience, and building mental complexity. These skills can be applied to various situations, including work, relationships, and personal growth. Unlock Your Social Potential: Develop Mental Complexity For Success At Work And Life With Blue Chip Minds
Virtual gatherings and events offer many mental health benefits, including maintaining social connections, reducing stress and anxiety, and providing community. Training programs can help individuals build mental complexity and develop new tools for navigating life. Investing in these programs can help individuals take control of their mental health and well-being and build resilience for the future. Blue Chip Minds offers programs that educate leaders + individuals on the latest scientific discoveries about human potential and the human condition. At Blue Chip Minds, we understand the importance of mental health and well-being. That's why we offer programs with a blended delivery of face to face or virtual such as Life Reloaded, Superior Thinkers Toolbox, and Future Ready Leaders Toolkit to help you discover your unused potential. Contact us today for more information.  Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash Contributed by Layla Wyatt The Australia and New Zealand School of Government suggests that mental complexity might be the key to unlocking better performance at work and a better quality of life. The more you understand your motivations, goals, thoughts, and emotions, the better equipped you will be to achieve your ambitions. "No one knows for sure, but many believe that having high mental complexity can confer several advantages in both work and life. This is because mentally complex individuals tend to be strategic thinkers, able to multitask and process multiple streams of information, which is a big asset to the workforce, especially in business industries," says business funding expert Shane Perry of Fund Spot—Australia's top provider of business funding solutions One facet of mental complexity is how individuals relate to the outside world and themselves. It depends on whether they can differentiate between the thoughts and feelings that they have and the thoughts and feelings that "have me." Developing mental complexity skills can benefit your personal and professional life. Here are some ways in which mental complexity can help you 1. Improved Decision Making Mental complexity can enhance your ability to consider multiple perspectives, anticipate potential outcomes and evaluate alternatives. This can lead to improved decision-making by enabling you to make more informed and effective choices. 2. Improved Ability To Work Through Difficult Situations Having a higher level of mental complexity can enhance your ability to work through difficult situations by enabling you to consider a broader range of perspectives, analyse complex information more effectively, and devise creative solutions to problems. This can lead to greater adaptability, resilience, and success in personal and professional settings. 3. An Increase In Clear And Effective Communication
4. Enhanced Capability Of Adapting To Changing Circumstances Mental complexity can enhance your capability to adapt to changing circumstances by enabling you to consider multiple perspectives and solutions. A more complex understanding of the world may better equip you to navigate unexpected challenges and identify opportunities for growth and learning. 5. Improvements To The Working Experience A greater mental complexity can lead to an enhanced working experience. This complexity allows individuals to think more critically and creatively, leading to better problem-solving skills and the ability to approach tasks from various angles. Start Developing Your Mental Complexity Developing mental complexity is not an overnight process but a critical component of personal growth and development. To start, expose yourself to different ideas and perspectives, seek diverse experiences, and challenge your assumptions and beliefs. It is also advisable to seek some help and guidance from professionals.
Blue Chip Minds established existing programs such as The Superior Thinkers Toolbox, Life Reloaded and The Future Ready Leader's Toolkit to inform people about what science is learning about the human condition and our untapped potential. We demonstrate to participants how to connect various maps, models and tools and use the concepts professionally and personally. Our method results in genuine transformation, increased mental complexity, long-lasting behavioural modification, and attitude adjustments. Contact us for more information.  Contributor: Georgia Ellis Leaders and managers are constantly required to create direction, often in environments that are uncertain, fast-moving, and complex. Without clear direction, teams lose focus, momentum slows, and results become inconsistent.
The ability to step back, think clearly, and consciously choose the direction forward is what separates reactive leadership from effective leadership. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing how to navigate complexity. Back in 2013, after leaving my Senior Manager role and stepping into a new version of myself as a business owner, I took a trip to Iceland. The icy and snowy landscape was not only epic, and it also provided a timely reminder of the cortical landscape of our brains. It’s a bit of a strange connection, and stay with me… As I took in the landscape, I couldn’t help but see a resemblance to the human brain and the way our continual thinking carves out new and unique neural pathways. It occurred to me that as an employee, I had been thinking in a certain way, which had led me to have a successful career. And that thinking, and those neural pathways, were not going to serve me as a business owner. Fast forward to 2019, and with a deeper understanding of neurobiology and the interconnection of our thoughts, emotions, and movement, I now appreciate the power of complex thinking and the importance of rewiring our brain to steer us in a new direction. Partly because of the science, and partly because it’s exactly what I did to grow my business. I worked on my mindset first. In the book The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton, he explains how our thoughts and beliefs impact our biology. If we continuously think with a negative bias about life or the future, telling ourselves limiting stories or making negative judgements, we begin to create neural pathways that reinforce that way of seeing the world. Just like crevices in the snow carved out by a sled taking the same path over time, those continual thoughts create a deeply embedded bias. It’s easy to feel like you’re being pulled in multiple directions. Competing priorities, shifting expectations, and constant demands can leave even the most capable leaders feeling like they’re responding to everything, and leading nothing. And this is where many leaders unknowingly drift. Not because they lack capability. And not because they don’t care. It's because they haven’t paused long enough to consciously choose their direction. Direction doesn’t come from activity, I've learned that it comes from clarity. Strong leaders understand that if they don’t define the direction, the environment will do it for them. And when that happens, they move from being intentional to reactive, responding to what’s urgent rather than leading what’s important. What this looks like in the workplace In the workplace, this shows up in very practical ways:
Neuroplasticity means that our brains are continually firing and wiring new pathways. The more we think a thought, the stronger the connection becomes. The less we think it, the weaker it becomes until it eventually fades. Each one of our thoughts and subsequent behaviours contributes to this change. It’s an empowering idea that we can prepare ourselves for complex and uncertain times through the nature of our thinking. Not only does a shift in thinking help prepare us for the future, it also has profound physical effects and can support reduced anxiety and greater resilience. Research has shown that consistent positive thinking can lead to:
And we feel it. We see it. We respond to it in others. The best thing about being in control of our thinking is that we have a new opportunity in every moment to shape our response. In leadership, this matters more than most realise. Because how you think influences:
Some strategies that have helped me do this include:
Changing the way I thought changed my emotional responses to people and situations. I moved from being reactive to becoming more deliberate. From being shaped by external events to influencing how I experienced them. People who know me often think I’ve always had a positive outlook. The truth is, I haven’t. I’ve learned it. And I’m still learning. and that, perhaps, is the most important part. The penny dropped as soon as I realised that direction isn’t something you find, It’s something you create.  Do you find yourself pulled between your personal desires or responsibilities and doing what needs to be done for your business or career? In the early 2000’s while managing over one hundred and fifty staff spread across more than forty-one thousand square kilometers, (without Zoom or MS Teams) I was introduced to the concept of work life balance, and I began instilling the idea with the team. It sounded like a great theory at the time, especially with early mornings and late evenings after driving from location to location to visit team members. But with hindsight and knowledge backed by personal experience I came to understand that to obtain true work life balance, a 50/50 split, was not only impossible but trying to achieve it was creating unnecessary stress… kinda defeating the purpose. In the world we woke up in today, things are vastly different than twenty years ago, we can access work from personal devices, and connect with team members across multiple time-zones with the click of a mouse and more of us are choosing to work from home making it so much easier for our focus to be hijacked by less important and often trivial distractions. This can have a detrimental flow on effect on our productivity, relationships and performance as we unconsciously relegate the things that matter the most to the ‘I’ll get to that later’ list. In the leadership programs we run, there is a fun and often tormenting activity we do where participants are forced to let go of the things they believe are important to them in order to get to what really matters most… One by one we witness managers and leaders letting go of their gym memberships, their barista brewed coffee, their nightly glass of wine, their entertainment subscriptions, their hobbies, and even personal freedom is sacrificed as they narrow down to the one thing that matters most to them. Do you know what 98% of participants declare as their most important thing, what they couldn’t live without? It’s Family! If you find yourself doing things that are not important, or chipping away at outdated processes, maintaining unproductive habits that take you further and further away from what matters most to you or heck, you may still be trying to achieve the impossible 50/50 work life balance, you know, feeling guilty at home on the days when work needs to be a priority and thinking you’re in the wrong, or your reputation will be ruined, when personal and family commitments impact your work. It doesn’t have to be this way, you can equip yourself with cutting edge tools to help you navigate the demands of the day, increase productivity, and focus on what matters. I know it can be painful doing things that are not working for us and at the same time not having the knowledge to push back confidently and intelligently on the things that negatively impact our well-being, relationships, goals, values, and time. Before learning or sharpening the tools that will help you do more of what matters… you may want to first understand the 6 most widely experienced derailers I see people from all walks of life struggle with. After 20+ years of diving into the fields of human potential, mindset and neurobiology and psychology combined with 1000’s of hours coaching I noticed common traps we all unwittingly fall into when it comes to getting to the things we really want to do or spending time with the people that matter most. If you are like me and want good results, I have no doubt that you know that to achieve results and perform at our best we need to be confident in our decisions, efficient in our thinking and productive with our time. This is easier said than done because no matter how hard we try to be productive and do what matters, there always seems to be people, situations, notifications, and that pesky inner voice that have the potential to distract and derail us. Derailer #1 - The People Pleaser  What I have noticed both within myself in the past, and with coaching clients is the first issue we face. To put it simply, we want to please everyone. Being a people pleaser and not being able to say no effectively leads to doing things not aligned to our goals or doing things to keep other people happy or maintain an unhealthy peace. Derailer #2 - Wired to Avoid Change  The second derailer comes from our neurobiology - we are wired to avoid uncertainty. This innate need to feel safe can slow down or even prevent decisions from being made. This leads to procrastination because we’re afraid to make a start or do things differently. We end up fighting against anything that takes us away from homeostasis, clinging to how things are or how things were, wired to stay in the safety of an outdated way of being. Derailer #3 - Unhealthy Habits  We can look to biology to understand the third derailer. Derailer number three is our unhealthy well-being habits draining us of the energy we need to get things done. Our energy is derived from the type of food we eat, how much we move, and the quality of our sleep. These are all important factors that impact energy levels and our ability to do what matters, often giving preference to an easy task (think Netflix, gossiping or social scrolling) to match our low energy levels. Derailer #4 - Misaligned Identity  The fourth derailer is a psychological one. When our subconscious identity is not aligned to the work we need to do we will unconsciously sabotage our efforts. When who we assume and believe we are is not aligned to who we need to be to get the work done we end up going in circles often reverting to our old ways. If you want to dive a little deeper into the power of your self-image, grab copies of Gay Hendricks book ‘The Big Leap', Chip and Dan heaths Book 'Switch' or Maxwell Maltz book ‘Psycho Cybernetics’. The deeply held beliefs you hold about yourself create a protective system that can sometimes lead to us sabotaging our efforts to focus on what really matters. Derailer #5 - Unsupportive Environment  The fifth derailer is an environmental one. You can't be productive if your physical, social, or mental environments are unsupportive. To set yourself up for success in this area be sure to create an uncluttered space dedicated to the work that needs to be done. Ensure that you are socially supported by engaging in a coach or buddy to cheer you on and hold you accountable to delivering on your objectives. It is equally important that you create a supportive mental environment by choosing narratives that support your outcomes such as telling yourself things like:
In essence you’re giving yourself a pep talk to override any beliefs that suggest you don’t have the time, energy, or capacity. Remember: Your mental attitude will always influence you output. Derailer #6 - Distractions  And sixth most common thing that derails us is distractions, and wow… the world certainly has turned up the volume on distractions and shiny objects, stealing our attention away from what’s important. Distractions big or small such as noise, notifications, interruptions from other people or pets, regularly checking emails or your phone. Anything that takes you away from what you are doing are the biggest derailers of productivity. These unwanted intrusions on our time slowly eat away at any hope we may have of consciously integrating our work with our life. Believe it or not distractions are the easiest to fix when you know how to set boundaries for yourself and for others. If you'd like some easy fixes to help you deal with distractions grab yourself a copy of Nir Eyal’s book ‘Indistractible’ Getting Back On Track What’s interesting about these six common derailers is that we can overcome all of them by overcoming the first one. Once we know how to say no in an enlightened way, we begin to help ourselves and others to let go of the things that no longer serve us and to focus on what’s important. We can set boundaries for ourselves to create healthy well-being habits, we can set clear limits and expectations as to the person that we want to become, we can say no to the things in our environment that get in the way of our best performance, and we can deliberately put measures in place to ensure we are not distracted from what matters most moment to moment. It’s up to you to get yourself on track and more importantly, stay there. The tools are available in books, podcasts, and courses. The first step is to determine what really matters to you, what’s your priority in any given moment then check to see which of the derailers are present. We know that knowledge alone doesn’t do a darn thing, so if you want support to kick any of your bad habits, outdated self-beliefs or fixed mindset to the curb… I’m opening up my diary to 6 people who are yet to experience Blue Chip Minds Coaching and who want to get back on track to join me for some complimentary 1:1 time in a 30min get me back on track session. So… what stops you most often?
Drop me a line, I’d love to hear what derails you and how you plan to get back on track. Here’s to you doing more of what matters. Contributed by Georgia Ellis  Contributed by Georgia Ellis Deciding is one of the single most powerful mental moves you can make to help solve your problems. Your entire life is dictated by the decisions you make moment to moment. The health of your mind and body, the well-being of your family, your financial stability, your career success, how much a person will trust you and, the type of relationships you develop, all depend on your ability to make sound decisions. In the workplace 60% of two thousand executives surveyed reported that bad decisions were as frequent as good ones. When it comes to our personal lives people are making as many bad decisions as good one too. Consider the people who haven’t saved enough for retirement, and if they have ‘squirreled’ some money away, they often erode their portfolios with fear-based decisions or short-term payoffs. This was evident in Australia in 2020 when due to the global pandemic, people were given the option to access their superannuation savings to help meet their living requirements, yet some people withdrew the funds for hobbies, sports equipment, entertainment or to purchase a car. Ultimately decisions bring order to our mind, and this order is then reflected in our life. British philosophical writer James Allen wrote: “No one can see you making decisions, but they will almost always see the results of your decisions.” - James Allen I personally subscribe to the notion that we live and die by the decisions we make, and that for the most part we can rectify any ill-informed decisions. There are, however, people who make a decision and if they don’t get the desired results, they feel like a failure. The thing is, failing doesn’t make anyone a failure but being quick to throw in the towel when the going gets tough… well maybe that could be seen as failing. Pushing through or quitting are both decisions therefore any lack of accomplishment or high levels of achievement on your part are both the result of your decisions. What I find interesting about decision making is that we often think we make well informed decisions, yet the truth is, unless we have high levels of self and environmental awareness, we will neglect to consider the hidden influences both internal and external that unconsciously impact our judgements. Most of us don’t realise that our important decisions could be swayed by seemingly meaningless external factors. In the workplace judgements and decisions can be swayed by who spoke first in the meeting, what day of the week it is or whether the local football team won last night’s match. At home we could be swayed by the room temperature, whether we’ve eaten or how much sleep we had. Internal factors that can impede our decision making include subconscious programming that has formed certain biases over time, our unchecked assumptions, and our short-term emotions. These internal influences often move us away from rational and intuitive processing and lead to uneducated often bad decisions. Our hidden influences are rarely considered in our everyday approach to decision-making. When we encounter a choice, we tend to not entertain alternative options, often analysing our options through the lens of our confirmation bias which is only seeing information that we want to see. While our short-term emotion tempts us to make the wrong decision for the wrong reasons. Consider the times you made an irrational decision in a moment of anger, frustration or even during those warm fuzzy feelings of new love. We can make better decisions by bringing these hidden influences to the surface. A method I have been playing with in recent times has helped me to begin to recognise and lean into my biases and assumptions. And I’d love to share it with you here. When faced with a decision our incredible brains filtering system likes to point us towards the information that backs up our beliefs and values. As we consider our options and form our assumptions, the confirmation bias begins to block out information outside of our beliefs, leading us towards self-serving information. It’s at this early stage of the decision making process that I try to become aware that this is likely happening to me and I go about testing my assumptions. Testing Assumptions doesn’t come naturally. That’s the whole point of the confirmation bias—deep down, we never really want to hear the negative information. When testing assumptions, the aim is to collect information that you can trust however the confirmation bias skews your assessment by making you prefer one option over another and homing in on favourable data. To overcome this blind spot, you can develop the discipline of considering the opposite of your initial instincts. (I’m trying to build this muscle and boy oh boy the confirmation bias force is strong) You can also test your assumptions by asking yourself this simple question: “Is what I’m assuming happening 100% of the time to 100% of the population?" You can also test assumptions with constructive disagreement either with another person, or if your critical thinking is dialed up, pull out your journal and disagree with yourself. A curious mindset is super helpful too, you can dial up your curiosity by asking yourself and other people probing and open-ended questions to uncover information that your biases had previously blocked. Our assumptions and confirmation bias doesn’t just affect what information we go looking for; it also affects what we notice in the first place. (Damn our brains are clever at making us see what we want to see!) Depending on the importance of your decision, you can challenge your assumptions with formal well conducted research. This type of research is a learned skill; it is challenging, nuanced, complex and time consuming. Most of us don’t have the time, skills, or desire to do proper research. Most of us have become lazy, relying on gossip, information from less than credible sources, social media feeds and the mainstream news for information to help inform decisions that in some instances can have far reaching and negative effects on our results and wellbeing. Ultimately, it’s up to you to determine the level of due diligence your decision requires, choosing what vacuum cleaner to purchase, deciding if you want to be the first to trial a medical procedure, or contemplating whether to take a job that requires uprooting the entire family and taking them to a foreign country all involve different levels of research (Unless you’re like me who spent way too long researching a recent vacuum cleaner purchase!) If you do choose to conduct research, it’s helpful to know what formal research isn’t. Formal Research is Not:
This type of ‘fact finding’ is confirmation bias. Any of these sources are quickly and easily ruled out when doing actual formal research. Beware of google algorithms, they too are heavily biased to point you in the direction of your search history. When a decision requires accurate balanced research, it’s important that you apply critical thinking to discern the facts from the fiction. You can do this by:
When faced with important decisions the type of analysis and research you do will help you to make better decisions. A healthy dose of scepticism can be a good thing especially when applied to the things we believe or want to be true, and not just to those things outside of what we believe.
Decisions can range from simple, to complicated, to complex and in our faced paced world we need to develop a level of awareness that moves us away from our entrained thinking and conditioned responses. We must widen our perspective so that we aren’t blinded to new ways of thinking and stop thinking that our 'expertise' means we always know what the best decision is or what is the right way forward. The truth is none of us have a crystal ball and we’re all making the best decisions we can with the information we have… just do your best to source reliable and credible information for the decisions that matter to you.  I’m confident that you would have experienced being in a conversation with someone, and you get a sense that they aren't really paying attention to you, maybe it’s not a sense, maybe its downright obvious that their attention has been hijacked. You notice their eyes not meeting yours, they’re checking a device, or their attention span has been shortened from device overuse. They may randomly comment but what they say is totally irrelevant to the thread of the conversation. Personally, I find this not only frustrating, but it quickly dials down my respect and trust in the other person. By no means am I always an active listener angel, I notice my ability to pay attention diminishes when I am tired, stressed out or preoccupied with a project. I assume this may be the case for you too. What I have come to understand over time is that listening, like any other skill, can be improved and more importantly, our ears, eyes and for some of us our highly tuned empathic sensing provides a direct link to our hidden modes of communication. There is something magical about being fully heard by another human. When we share ideas and experiences unencumbered by judgement or having someone want to solve our problems we feel liberated and connected. The shared space creates a deep connection with the other person increasing mutual trust, respect and sometimes a feeling of catharsis. One of the biggest challenges in personal and professional relationships is creating space for effective two-way communication to occur. We need to manage both our internal and external environments effectively in order to do this. Manage your External Environment to connect deeply. One of the things I love to do is catch up with friends, not over a coffee, but for a walk-in nature. There are a number of reasons for this, the first being I love being in nature and all the benefits it brings, and secondly to create a space for undisturbed connection, nature has fewer background distractions that are often found in a café, no dobt you’ve experienced the clanging of coffee machines, conversations nearby reverberating off the tables, walls and floors, and the constant interruption of a staff member asking if the meal or coffee was ok. Consciously choosing where you meet, or talk is a great start, then removing any distractions is always helpful. If you’re at home, put the TV on mute, or turn it off, put your phone on silent and pop it away and out of sight and for those of you with smart watches, there is nothing more frustrating than having a conversation with someone who repeatedly lifts their wrist to check notifications or interrupts the conversation to share that their watch was telling them that mum’s calling, but they won’t answer it. So, maybe turn of your vibrating notifications too. When we converse over the phone or online, the same rules of deep engagement apply. Although you may not be in the same physical location, you can still be 100% present. Do your best to dial in from a location with as little distraction as possible away from pets, partners and children, turn off notifications and close down any other apps. When you do this your focused attention on the conversation will pay huge dividends for yourself and the relationship. When scheduling time to be with another human be sure to use the time to be fully present for each other and allow for the natural flow of the conversation to take you to a place where nothing else exists, there’s no time, no one else and nothing else matters. Notice your Internal Environment to be fully present. When dealing with other people being able to share your thoughts and wishes effectively is a something most of us can do with some level of success. But we also have to be open to what others have to say. The most important aspect of creating and nurturing relationships begins with active listening. Active listening is an inside job and can be a challenge to master. Most people confuse hearing with listening. This can lead to misunderstandings, arguments and frustration for both parties. If you are the one needing to be heard, and you’re not, you may end up lowering your respect levels and trust for the person you are with. We can't control other people’s actions or how they listen to us, however we can set boundaries or rules of engagement if someone is continually distracted when they are in our presence. (we’ll cover how to set boundaries in another article) Active listening is an inside job, it requires awareness, curiosity and compassion. Often when communicating, our inbuilt filtering system prevents us from really hearing the other person. Our beliefs create confirmation bias, our assumptions cause misunderstanding, our predetermined judgements about a person or situation may stir up a perceptual defence and our emotional state may lead to us to only hearing what we want to hear. We often think that it takes courage and confidence to share our deepest thoughts and to be heard, and it does, but it also takes awareness, courage and confidence to shut up and listen. Become a great listener Active listening is a skill any one can learn (and most of us need plenty of practice) Active listening will become your go to tool once you discover its power to improve personal and professional relationships. If you don't invest in becoming better at active listening, you will unconsciously discount other people’s perspective, ideas and experiences and they in turn will become emotionally distant (not a great thing in an intimate relationship) and they will no longer want to contribute to conversations or provide creative ideas (Impacting the progress of a business) Active listening basics The aim of Active Listening is to build respect, gather information, expand our perspective and increase understanding. In a world of constant distractions where our attention span has become less than that of a goldfish perhaps we can borrow a line from Mark Anthony’s request for attention in the play Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare. Where he announces “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears" It takes attention, focus and the willingness to accept what is being expressed without judgement. Can we lend our ears and eyes 100% to the person attempting to communicate with us? Here are 5 tips to help you become an Active Listener Angel. 1. Pay Attention
2. Show You're Listening
3. Compassionate Curiosity
4. Defer Judgment
5. Respond Respectfully
Active listening is one of the many communication tools we can use to build trustworthy relationships. Make time to listen to the people that matter in your life, it doesn’t make sense to be too busy to listen to someone else's story, opinion, idea or point of view. Listening is a beautiful gift of our most precious resource ‘time’ that we can give to others allowing humanity to thrive and grow together! #betterhumans p.s remember to have some fun! Contributed by: Georgia Ellis  I know it's hard right now balancing commercial goals with the well-being and growth of your people and somehow you did it! It is an absolute honour to work with business leaders and decision makers who not only realise that that their people must come first, above the customer and the shareholder, but they take inspired action towards making it a reality for their organisation. I often wonder how many organisations expect their tired, wired and depleted team to show up and be the best for each other and their customers, especially when they have not been able to invest in themselves first. How can a person truly connect, influence and shine for a business if at first, they can't shine for themselves? I love the challenge of working with you to help you serve your people in a way that has never been done before. I love that you knew there was a better and different way to invest in your team and when we shared our approach it resonated deeply with you, and you took immediate action to get started. I now realise you had been searching for unique and proven ways to serve your people and the business at the same time, and here we are :) I love that you generously invest in your people’s personal growth, professional development and wellbeing, to help them thrive in life so that in their thriving your workplace becomes a hive of positive and profitable activity. I admire the work you do and your bigger vision as a business to truly make the world a better place with your products and services. Instead of playing the short and finite game, your organisation plays the long and infinite game where everyone wins including your customers, clients, team members, shareholders, stakeholders, vendors and the world we share. I am forever grateful that you found us and that we have worked together to create solutions to meet your unique needs. It is a delight working with you all, most importantly and above all, we love your team, your leaders and all the people who participate in our programs, they show up, play full out and in doing so they become better humans. Together your organisation gets to meet your goals and Blue Chip Minds gets to meet ours. I admire that you listened to that deeper knowing that went against convention, you sensed and truly believed that you have to, need to, and want to do more for your people. Your commitment to building self-awareness, helping people think differently and providing a wider lens for them to see challenges in a new light and providing them with the tools to thrive… not just at work…. but in life, is a massive paradigm shift as to how organisations approached their workforce in the past. It’s because of you that I have faith in the future of humanity and big business. Your leaders have shown that they are ready to lead in a multidimensional way and now they have the tools to do it, helping your organisation to become a human centered commercially minded workforce. I can’t say I’ve ever felt this way about a business client, and not sure if it’s good for business to say this out loud, but to hell with convention right! I have to say it. I Love You! I'm thankful that we are aligned and our work together is profitable and beneficial for everyone! Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for being a modern-day Robin Hood and showing up for your people.
Thank you for caring - together we can help to make the world a better place. In gratitude Georgia + The BCM Team.  Contributed by Georgia Ellis In social gatherings I often find myself simply sitting and observing. I’m teaching myself to take in the surroundings and pay attention to what people are saying and doing. Overtime I have trained myself to notice the slight nuisances in a person’s tone of voice, their posture, the pace in which they speak and the words they choose as I’m observing I then get curious, I ask myself, I wonder what experience, information, values, and perspectives sit behind how they are showing up? The truth is I will never know how someone comes to their view of the world, this in and of itself doesn’t bother me. I may be able to better understand them and their motivation by how they are communicating, which can be helpful, if I get it right that is but what often raises a mildy disapproving eyebrow is when I hear people sharing an opinion or information that is not backed by personal experience or clear evidence. There is a word for this kind of communication, gossiping. These interactions usually lead to misinformation as a story is rehashed to suit a particular situation or the storyteller’s agenda; a little like the ‘Whisper Challenge’ the further away or down the line you are from the original source, the more likely you are receiving embellishments, untruths, or biased information. For the receivers of information who are not fully trained in the art of thinking, the misinformation can lead to misguided actions and reactions and can go on to produce unwanted ripple effects in their own life and the lives of the collective as misinformation or outdated ideas becomes a mainstream belief or world view. Each of us holds a unique and personal perspective of reality that is often formed through childhood as part of our induction into being human, and then as adults we unconsciously and consciously give certain people and organisations credibility and a halo of godliness, automatically believing what they say without question. For the most part we are influenced and manipulated by external forces, too lazy to think for ourselves. When we’re busy being too busy, it is much easier to scroll social media or turn on the TV and listen to a person dressed in a suit tell us how to think and act. Fortunately, there are a growing number of people who are no longer swayed by the glitz and glamour of a celebrity clambering for recognition, a politician trying to win votes, or a friends ego getting the better of them. These people are in the process of mastering the art of thinking. They usually do this through curiosity, discernment, trusting their intuitive nudges and an awareness of human nature. This skill, yes, it is a skill, is one that anyone can learn. Through practice we can learn how to ask the right questions to determine the motivation and credibility of our sources of information. In short, we can tune our ‘Bullshit detector’ to a high level of accuracy and know when and how to boldly respond in a way that doesn’t lead to conflict. Over time as a species, we have and will continue to collectively increase our mental complexity. This form of human evolution is often the result of an individual or group making a bold stand and challenging a commonly held perspective that has been inaccurately accepted to be true or mainstream. Unfortunately, sometimes their questioning or new perspective is subject to harsh and even life ending consequences, all because their view or questioning was not in line with the mainstream perspective, or they did not agree with those who claimed “authority” at the time. Humans are funny creatures, we fight so hard to hold on to our perspective, and when someone comes along with a different approach, idea or viewpoint that could change an individual’s life, increase an organisations productivity, or maybe even make the world a better place for future generations – we scoff, snigger, shoot them down, insult them and publicly ridicule them – go team human?! “The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.” - Mark Twain We seem to quickly forget that thinking differently has been key to major shifts that have so profoundly influenced the advancement of our collective pursuits in philosophy, science, and technology. So, back to my social observations. Why do I do this? Why sit there and watch what’s going on? The truth is, I am trying to master the art of thinking. I am trying not to let my past dictate my future. I am having meta conversations with myself to try and allow my habitual, egotistic, biased thoughts and feelings to rise above my accepted norm in that moment. I am practicing how to entertain an enquiry that takes me outside of the constraints of my default perspective of how things are or are meant to be. I must admit, it’s not easy and I find myself asking the wrong question and saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Real thinking is an artform that requires awareness, practice and time. The hardest part for me has been adopting a willingness to be wrong in a belief or view and learning from my misguided enquiries in the hope that I will be able to gracefully transcend ideas that once were deemed by myself or society to be absolute truth that have no relevance in the world we woke up in today. Throughout my life I have had various mentors (some alive some alive through the medium of books) some whom at the time I trusted impeccably, only to find as my mental complexity grew, as my values evolved, their views no longer served me or my changing worldview. Right now, I have a few mentors who offer me a wide angled view of the world and who unbeknown to them, continually challenge my world view. They are teaching me to think, to discern and to test my assumptions. I must admit this process is often a destabilising and challenging experience as I muster up the courage to unlearn and to think differently. It’s exhausting! Pass me the remote for some six-o’clock news someone please. But wait, there is more to this challenge of shifting perspective. As I am begin shifting my personal world view, and feeling off kilter, skidding between guard rails, the people around me assume I’m the same me. They believe I hold the same view, values and beliefs that I did yesterday. This becomes a next level challenge as I emerge in my familiar surroundings, looking the same on the outside, with an internal updated operating system that no-one is aware of unless I open my mouth and talk. Friends and family must feel like they’re sitting down at their trusty PC only to switch it on to find it’s using an Apple operating system, they are lost, confused, and don’t understand the language I now speak. Interactions become disjointed and frustrating to everyone especially those who may not agree with or understand my emerging view. It feels lonely, I want to curl up in the foetal position and suck my thumb until it’s safe to come out again. Although as enticing as it seems, hiding away is not courage, it’s an act of fear and potential conformity where nothing changes, my world stays the same and I won’t make a positive difference sucking my thumb. In his unified science course, Nassin Haramein Founder of the Resonance Science Foundation writes, Historically, thinking differently amidst a strongly held philosophic and scientific set of beliefs has proven all too often to be a difficult road to walk. The authority structures of the time will typically put-up great resistance to new ideas, and the individuals and groups who are willing to voice these new ideas are challenged or allegedly “debunked”, in many cases without either an unbiased evaluation of their ideas or a reasonable argument against them based upon such an evaluation.” According to Abraham Maslow, one of our deepest needs and drivers is the need to fit in and having a point of view that is at odds with those we live and work with can feel threatening to our survival. One way I see around this is for as many of us as possible to dig deep and be bold - together. Yes, we will come up against friends, family, colleagues, policies, procedures and structures that feel like a form or resistance to a new and often better way of thinking and being. We may feel like an oddball, with no tribe to fit in with and become discouraged to stand up to an injustice, or an outdated workplace policy, in some instances we may feel threatened and even begin to question our own conclusions and logic and may even start to judge ourselves as being stupid for even thinking something different. It’s hard to swim against a current of arguments that appear to be truth and accepted as ‘right’ in our culture. This is the wave some of us are riding now as new ideas and ways of working are emerging and confronting long held collective views, can we ride the wave arm in arm? If we see someone swimming against the current, can we throw them a perry buoy in the form of encouragement, being interested in their point of view and using curiosity to validate their position with them? I don’t have all the answers, but I do have some questions that we can ponder together.
How to practice the 'Art of Thinking' to widen your perspective. Shifting your perspective is a deeply personal experience. It’s up to each of us to pay close attention to where information is coming from and our personal relationship to the information and decide for ourselves what feels true.
Continually shifting my perspective and being open to new ideas is an ongoing learning process for me, by no means am I perfect. Over time I have noticed that as each of my outdated perspectives fall away and as I listen deeply and pay close attention to the motivations of those around me, my life has become richer, and I have a deep sense of freedom and faith in a better future for everyone. As you navigate life, I invite you to become a ‘Virtuoso of Thought’ by asking yourself some questions during your interactions with other people and sources of information:
When you decide to open your mind and start shifting your perspective, you begin to positively contribute to a greater organisational, community or even global shift. #betterhumans  Contributed by Caterina Viterale Reframing responsibility to help organisations, teams and individuals be better humans Until recently, I have had a tug-of-war like relationship with the idea of responsibility for as long as I can remember. This recent shift felt like I was handed a key to a new understanding that nested in my mind and then expanded to create a form of internal freedom. As if handed down by the magical powers that be directly into my awareness, I was offered a unique and transformative way to reshape how I look at, and understand, responsibility beyond what I had thought previously, which was always associated with a role, title or position. I now consider this a framework, a concept, a potential mapping of sorts, for how we can navigate ourselves and each other through the terrain of modern living and all of its complexities, and in this article I will be sharing it with you. So, grab yourself a glass of your favourite beverage, sit back and let’s go on a little meditative and contemplative ride of curiosity and wonder together about how we can potentially reshape how, and what, we think when it comes to responsibility. ContextResponsibility, for a very significant amount of my 32 years of life, has been an extremely heavy, yet liberating, topic and experience for me. On a personal level, it’s been extremely burdening. On a professional level, I have always thrived with some form of weight on my shoulders – a team to manage, a goal to hit, something to organise, pieces to put together. Recognising why I have these two experiences of the same topic was something I really struggled to understand and master. Why was I exceptional at managing a team, being a good leader, and exceeding professional goals, but I could barely manage my personal life? Why was it different? I couldn’t figure it out because the weight of my personal responsibility was too heavy for me to be able to look up, look around, and see things differently. Then, one day, a few months ago whilst meditating, an entirely new way of looking at responsibility came to and through me, right when I was no longer looking to understand it. And this is what I will share with you. The New UnderstandingResponsibility. Response-ability. “The application of one’s ability to provide an appropriate response to any moment or situation, whereby one has, or is perceived to have, something that is of benefit to someone or something, including themselves”. Sheesh. Good, right? Let’s highlight the many important, and specific, elements to provide us with the guidelines for putting this into practice, and break down this new way of thinking about response-ability. Application: because the rest of the definition becomes completely useless if we do not APPLY it. Simples. Ability: ability for humans is never one dimensional. It is both within and between the elements of physical, emotional and mental that we may or may not actually be able to do something. I may know you have the intellectual capacity to fulfil a task based on past experience, but not know that you’re physically unable to do so in this moment because you’re exhausted from lack of sleep as your new born child is unwell. Or because you’ve started seeing a therapist about that childhood trauma no one knows about and it’s emotionally and physically exhausting you. We may have assumptions about someone (colleague, friend, partner, parent, employee, neighbour, person at the checkout) with regards to their ability to fulfil a task, without considering the infinite number of factors that contribute to one’s ability to do so, even if it appears, they are, in fact, able to do so on face value. This is where the co-founder of the Flow Genome Project Jamie Wheal’s ‘Playground Rules’ provides a handy rule to live by: #2 “Benefit of the Doubt (Everyone's Doing Their Best!)” Appropriate: This is about emphasising whether or not we have consciously assessed the situation and considered the response we are about to make is, in fact, as appropriate as we can assess it to be. This requires a certain level of mental development and complexity - specifically the utilisation of a particular mental faculty, ‘perspective’. How many perspectives outside of our own have we considered in our analysis of an appropriate response? What internal space is this analysis coming from? Are we angry, tired, hungry (or hangry), overly excited, focused on one perspective? Does it feel rather cerebral, meaning, are we just thinking about it intellectually, or are we allowing for things such as empathy and compassion to enter our consideration of what’s appropriate? The findings of our internal investigation provide important reflections and considerations for how we may expand what we consider appropriate. Response: without getting into technicalities of dictionary meanings, I feel the significance of response is that, in embodied practice, it is very grounded. It is clear, open, attentive. It is a state of assessing as much available information as possible whilst knowing that even in this state we are unable to know absolutely everything. Thus, remaining open to the information we receive as a unique opportunity to add to our knowledge base. I want to emphasise also what it is not, and more specifically what it isn’t in comparison to a reaction. Typically, when using ‘reaction’ in conversation, there is an assumption that the reaction was a direct and immutable outcome as a result of a specific cause that is often emotionally explosive; it’s automated and without control or influence. This is definitely not what I feel a response to be. Response seeks to find the causation(s) of the present moment, assesses it in as many ways as it seems appropriate that is the most expansive and inclusive, then consciously CHOOSES an outcome. A moment or situation: this brings the mind’s attention, and the practical application of this response-ability principle, to the here and now (whatever present moment we find ourselves in). Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not in five minutes time, nor the previous encounters with this person/s in the environment we are in. It’s the here and now, which requires a specific state of mind that has the ability to absorb it for what it is, and not what it has been previously or what we anticipate it to be. Has, or is perceived to have: sometimes we know what we have, and sometimes we need others to provide the information to bring it to our attention. This is particularly useful in times when we forget that we have a skill, resource or piece of information that is so automatic in our existence that we forget we have it. Take speaking our native language as an example. Most people use it so frequently and have become so acquainted with its existence and use that they forget that it is, in fact, a skill that could be used to help others – a foreigner, a blind person who is unable to read/see something, or even as a means to voice an injustice/issue that requires attention. Something: it’s important to remember that something isn’t always an object – it can be an idea, a word, a resource, and in fact, something can even be a nothing. The thing that you may be able to provide as an appropriate response is, well, absolutely nothing (silence, for example, when listening to someone share their story). Benefit: most often, we are used to considering benefit as strictly on the positive side of the negative to positive spectrum. It is important to note, however, that benefit may also include an outcome where there is a reduction in the negative, thus, moving the indicator within the spectrum closer to the positive side and away from the extreme negative side. Someone, or something: we live on a planet, that doesn’t just have people. It has objects, other living organisms, constructs, ideas, beliefs, houses and e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g else that exists outside of our present here and now. Therefore, it isn’t just about responding to people within a moment or situation, it is also guiding us towards paying attention to, and considering the benefit of, e-v-e-r-y single thing that exists. Including ourselves: well, because, most of us just don’t think of ourselves, especially when it comes to responsibility! It’s often housed in the environment of others – our roles and duties to others and things outside of ourselves. This can create an array of negative consequences. From illness, to stress, to poor health, poor sleep, no money, poor relationships, minimal joy, and everything else that you can think of when you take a moment to reflect on all the ways you’ve neglected yourself – your body, your wants and needs, your desires, your feelings and emotions, your experiences. Now that we’ve delved a bit deeper into the elements of this alternative perspective of response-ability, let’s ask a really important question. Why is this even important?If we consider many of the issues we face globally, much of it stems from a lack of response-ability. Ask yourself: “How many times have I seen someone (including myself) dismiss an idea or action - a response – when something clearly needed to be done?” For example, a task at work that wasn’t part of your “job title/duties” so you ignored it; a conversation you avoided having about something that needed addressing but was put off and the issue became far greater than it needed to be. The list goes on. And when we collectively leave a large amount of small things unchecked or ignored, they build to HUGE mountains of things that suddenly seem too overwhelming. I mean, just take a look at the news over the last year, where do we begin? Racism? Global warming? Women’s rights? Trans rights? Education? Health? Pollution? Where? More deeply, if we consider the global social, economical, political and environmental landscape, a significant portion of it involves us needing to pick up the pieces of other people’s lack of response-ability - we are constantly having to utilise our time, energy and resources rectifying the consequences of others behaviour, decisions and actions, as opposed to showing up in the world and living a life that is full of richness and the freedom to create playfully. We are devoting the one resource that we have always known to be finite and irreversible in the physical plane – time – to resolving issues as a result of a lack of response-ability of our fellow humans in the past, instead of basking in the playfulness of existence itself. And, sometimes there’s no stronger blockage than a perception of finite time that limits our ability to be conscious and aware in our actions. This is an important segue into an often ignored, yet extremely influential element that can dramatically impact one’s ability to practice response-ability. Burdened people burden people. Photo by Ben White We’ve all heard the common phrase: ‘hurt people hurt people’, but when do we consider the reality that often, burdened people burden people? Think about the Manager who is overworked, stressed out, and feeling overwhelmed by the disproportionate ratio of their skills to the tasks required of them by those above (and sometimes, below) and so unfairly demands more from those they manage and increases their workload? The single parent, working their asses off (or are unable to), struggling to overcome a past trauma and so demands more from their child, intentionally or unintentionally? The person in a position of power who is burdened by a personal situation, who comes to work carrying that weight into a decision-making process, and then chooses the less personally consequential option that has an increased workload on others, as opposed to the harder, but more appropriate, option? What happens in all of these situations? The person burdened, begins to unwittingly burden those around them. Whether by having to take on tasks, or holding space for them to react to their stresses (as opposed to processing their emotions in a healthy manner), the weight gets distributed to others who are already carrying the burden of the people and environments they’ve previously been in. And so the burdened becomes the burdener. When we’re burdened, we cannot perform optimally, and at our best; we cannot give to ourselves, each other and the here and now moment we find ourselves in. Essentially, we cannot be response-able.So, what can we do?
2. Remember that during times of emotional, physical and/or mental internal imbalance, people are not at their best, and therefore, we need to recognise the inability of the other person to provide what we believe to be an appropriate response. A potential tool for these moments would be to become curious and ask the person we are about to request something from, “what is your current energetic, emotional, and physical capacity?” We could even go so far as to ask them to rate their levels out of 10 or 100, and if used in a team environment, whoever has the highest score may be able to take the reins for a moment to allow others to regain their equilibrium. 3. Use the description of ‘response-ability’ as a principle to live by, outside of roles, duties, status and labels – let’s perceive it as a guiding principle. The InvitationHere are nine ideas I invite you to consider to help make the shift from responsibility to response-ability a little more easier collectively. 1. It’s a paradox that we must develop in to We must both let go of, and embrace, the past and future in helping us navigate the now. In the context of providing an appropriate response, we must clear ourselves of the past conditioning and future assumptions that blind us to providing an appropriate response, whilst also utilising past knowledge and holding future ideas and plans to help us navigate the situation to the most appropriate and beneficial outcome. This can be challenging for some, as it requires a high level of mental complexity that many of us are not yet capable of, or are still developing into. Therefore, we must consider this a journey towards response-ability mastery on both an individual and collective level due to the navigation towards, and transformation to, living this as a guiding principle. Developing self awareness through mindfulness practices such as meditation can assist us in the optimisation of processing throughout the here and now and maximise the ease at which we can practice this principle fully. 2. We’re all going to be students, and teachers No one is a master at this, nor will they be. Every moment we are growing, evolving and changing, as is everything else that exists, and therefore, there will always be more to learn, to adapt to and to consider. What’s that playground rule again we need to follow? “Benefit of the Doubt (Everyone's Doing Their Best!)” 3. It’s never going to be 100% There’s ALWAYS going to be some form of “problem”. This perspective isn’t about solving and eradicating all of the tension in the world, it’s about limiting the amount of unnecessary realities we’re creating that require subsequent solutions - the burdened burdening others included. We must ensure our thinking going forward is built upon a foundation of knowing there is no final and complete utopian destination. 4. Try to refrain from worrying about over there, focus on your here Until your ‘here’ is functioning optimally and beneficially, refrain from utilising your valuable energy, time and resources on the “over there” situations – trust that they are being dealt with by those there, experiencing their own here and now within it and utilising these same principles. Make sure your house is in check first, then go out and help others optimise theirs. 5. There’s no reason not to play and have fun This piece was written deliberately with a hint of playfulness to provide a glimpse of the light-heartedness that we can bring to the spaces we occupy. It may feel as though we have a big job to do – personally, professionally or collectively as a human race - but if we bring an element of play and child-like wonder, we can get the job done in a much faster and cohesive manner. Maybe we can start asking ourselves “how can I make this a more enjoyable process?” 6. Trust ourselves, each other and the bigger picture – all of which we know very little about The greatest of minds have always proclaimed that the more they know, the more they know not. Let’s take that piece of advice on face value and act accordingly. 7. We have a choice Response-ability is a tool we can use to help us CREATE the world we want to live in – it gives us agency, sovereignty and conscious engagement, and not simply be a passer-by in this great adventure that is life as a human on this planet. Let’s CHOOSE to be the person/s we want to see in the world. 8. Not everyone is as keen as you are When we think something is important, we forget, or simply fail to consider, that whilst we are having an experience right now of something having our focused attention, so too are the people around us who we are interacting with. We must remember that no matter how important or significant we feel and believe, or even know, a thing that is requiring our attention is, we must accept and forgive those who cannot give us the energy, focus and attention we may want or need. 9. Response-ability is always a 100% game If you are conscious, and in a body that is able to move with conscious engagement, then you are 100% responsible for your response-ability - remember, existence equals responsibility. No situation is about breaking down who contributed what percentage of 100% of the outcome. It’s about taking personal accountability for our own actions, choices, and behaviours (including what we do not do), and recognising that we are 100% responsible for the contribution we made in any given moment. We shift our focus and analysis from “they did A, B and C!” (usually blame) to “what did I do here?” (self empowerment and mastery). ConclusionThe more I think about this, the more I feel there’s so much to say, develop and find clarity on how the actual practical application of such a framework fits across our lived experiences.
Though, essentially, I think it can be summed up by being more considerate of others and the environments we find ourselves in, and shifting our focus and attention from other people’s choices, actions and behaviours to our own. If we at least start from there, I trust the magnificence of who we are on a fundamental level - kindness, compassion, openness, curiosity, playfulness, joyfulness - will help us find our way.  Reigniting Human Commerce with Visionary Leadership To my continually learning mind, I always thought commerce was a business term that related to an intent of making a profit. I had not come across an older meaning, which I might add, I love, where commerce once related to the social dealings between people. Imagine, if you will for a brief moment, a business that focused equally on making a profit and improving the interactions between humans. Over the last few weeks, I have been delving into a few different business models and research articles, chatting with senior leaders and heck, I even chatted all things leadership on Clubhouse to better understand how we can create more warmth and understanding in our human interactions both at work and socially, and whether organisations actually invest in improving their Human Commerce. Sadly, I have found only a handful of socially responsible organisations channelling their L&D funding into creating better humans within their workforce while also investing in technical and on the job skills. If philosophers have been telling us for centuries that the ultimate goal of existence is to achieve our highest good, for our values to be met and priorities to be achieved, then we can’t deny that we need a supportive social system to help us in our personal pursuit of happiness. Everything about our existence nowadays relies heavily on human interactions, from the parcels being delivered from amazon, to the checkout assistant at the supermarket and the person in a foreign country doing their best to solve our problems over the phone. Interactions with friends, colleagues and family also get added into the mix. We can’t deny that our happiness is entangled with, and relies on, Human Commerce. Each of us, regardless of our assigned roles at home or work, needs to take responsibility for becoming better within ourselves in order to support others in an effort to improve the warmth of human interactions and to increase our collective happiness quotient. How can you contribute to our collective happiness quotient? The answer is simple, aspire to become a Visionary Leader. Most of the population either works for a business or owns a business. It seems strange to say that happiness and business have anything to do with each other since for most people work can be soul destroying. Yet research is showing us that the two are linked business can enhance human wellbeing! In July 2019 during her TED talk, Nicola Sturgeon, the First Minister of Scotland displayed Visionary Leadership and discussed the importance of creating an environment that allows everyone to thrive. She said: “What we choose to measure as a country matters. It really matters, because it drives political focus, it drives public activity…. GDP measures the output of all of our work, but it says nothing about the nature of that work, about whether that work is worthwhile or fulfilling.” She goes on to say that: “Economic growth matters -- it is important -- but it is not all that is important. And growth in GDP should not be pursued at any or all cost… the objective of economic policy should be collective well-being: how happy and healthy a population is, not just how wealthy a population is…. when we focus on well-being, we start a conversation that provokes profound and fundamental questions. What really matters to us in our lives? What do we value in the communities we live in? What kind of country, what kind of society, do we really want to be?” It is refreshing to hear world leaders speak of balancing Human Commerce with gross domestic product, and I hope that one day it is reality. In the short term, perhaps we need to look to businesses, not to governments, to effectively kick-start the wellbeing movement by balancing profit and people and contributing to the wellbeing and welfare of its workforce and community. By helping their employees grow and delighting their customers with innovative and meaningful products, businesses have an opportunity to make a positive contribution to the world. This type of approach (if adopted) would also have a positive effect on the business as the community reciprocates support. The aim of a visionary leader would be to nurture and create more visionary leaders. Creating a movement of people who know how to infuse soul, in the form of emotional and intellectual energy, into their organisation and community. How do you become a Visionary Leader? 1. Have a Vision that is Greater than You.Designing a vision that is beyond yourself creates opportunity and challenge for you and the people you lead to do their best. All of the studies that I have researched investigating Flow states, show that it is experienced predominantly at work, in contrast to the belief that it show up in our free time. This rich experience often occurs at times that involve moments of crisis or when a person is stretched beyond their known limits or challenged to be creative in the pursuit of a meaningful vision. These moments of deep Flow, caused by the right amount of challenge, infuse soul into a person’s work - they end up transformed through their efforts and become someone more complex than they had been before. This is usually good for the individual and the business. Think about how much time you spend either at work or working on tasks for work at home. It’s a lot of your time! If you are part of a business that doesn’t enable you to grow as a person, to grow in self-knowledge and wisdom and build your ability to relate to others, the business is not doing you (Human Commerce) or their bottom line (Business Commerce) any favours. What we need are more workplaces where people can learn more about themselves through the pursuit of a worthy vision and integrate the knowledge to promote self-awareness and increase their mental complexity. 2. Build Trust Having a vision for your team, family or organisation to move towards can be an incredible motivator, however, a vision on its own won’t build sustainable Human Commerce. The most important principle of Human Commerce is trust. No one will buy into your vision if they don’t trust you or each other. When working towards a common goal, a Visionary Leader can build trust through motivating people by combining the Individuals Interests and the Common Interest of the group while also embodying the four trust building leadership traits; Credibility, Reliability, Empathy and Low Self-Orientation. A Leader can usually improve an Individuals interests with external incentives such as pay increases, promotion or a fancy job title. However common interest is earned through a demonstration of respect for the value of each person. Most team members won’t be of service to a leader’s vision unless the rules are fair, their contribution is recognised, and their integrity is respected. When a Leader cuts corners, shows favouritism, is unfair, doesn’t do what they say they will do or is thoughtless, they undermine the common interest of the group and trust diminishes. When this happens on a regular basis, the only thing keeping the vision alive will be external incentives. Which, unfortunately, over time will have a detrimental effect on the business in the form of low morale and less profit as more extrinsic incentives are needed to keep people performing their job. A Visionary Leader can build trust by investing their mental energy into monitoring and enhancing the wellbeing of everyone. More importantly, to build credibility, reliability, empathy and to balance their focus between their personal needs and the needs of the collective. they must develop self-discipline based on self-knowledge. 3. Develop Self-Discipline and Self-knowledge.“The only journey is the one within”. We all know that nothing is ‘free’ in the material economy, similarly nothing comes free in your psychic economy either. If you are not willing to invest energy in understanding your mind and body (your internal reality) and end up wasting time and money chasing external rewards, you lose the ability to master your life and end up a puppet of circumstances. Getting to know yourself as a leader must involve questioning which of your values and beliefs are fundamental and support your vision and which ones have no substance or have been acquired by accident and no longer serve you or your vision. Knowing how to think is far more valuable in this day and age than knowing what to think. A cutting-edge way to gain self-knowledge is to make accessing Flow an integral part of your life. 4. Create an Environment that Allows People to Thrive In his book “Good Business” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggests there are two pillars of happiness and the fulfilment of potential. The first pillar is ‘differentiation’ this involves realising that you are unique and responsible for your well-being and are willing to develop your uniqueness wherever it leads, enjoying the expression of our being in action. The second pillar involves ‘integration’ this is realising that even though we are unique, we are also enmeshed in networks of relationships with other humans, culture, and with the surrounding natural and man-made environment. A person who is fully differentiated and integrated develops high levels of mental complexity and is more likely to lead a happy, vital and meaningful life. They are also known to contribute positively to their work and improve Human Commerce. They are, as Abraham Maslow describes ‘Self-actualised humans’, and they are happy knowing they can continue to activate their potential. A Visionary Leader ensures they develop every team member, regardless of job title, to reach this level of awareness. To do this a Visionary Leader purposely creates an environment that allows people to;
Conventional Leadership Be Gone! So, what if nothing changes? What if businesses and their Leaders continue to tip the scale in favour of making a profit over the increasing need to balance profit with Human Commerce? In my role at Blue Chip Minds, I see first-hand the effects on business and their workforce when conventional thinking and leading is the norm. People are either overworked, burnt-out, feeling devalued, or not encouraged to perform at their best. They are often treated as cogs in the process of production which ends up diminishing them as humans. It appears that focusing on profit and developing the technical skills to make greater profits, is doing more harm than good. Participants of our programs often share stories of Leaders they don’t trust, toxic work environments, feeling undervalued and not heard. Most express deep appreciation to us for creating the right circumstances for them to integrate knowledge within themselves and help them to gain clarity on how they can be a better human personally and professionally. What We Can Do – Together! Instead of ignoring the complexity of humans, businesses and leaders can embrace our need for love and growth and help motivate workers to pursue common goals by having an appealing vision, establishing trust, encouraging individual growth and to stop depriving workers of the joy that comes naturally from doing their best. If you are an individual in an organisation, I invite you to take full responsibility for creating your happiness. If your workplace or manager doesn’t give you clear goals, create your own. If you are not provided with immediate feedback in relation to your performance so that you can adapt, ask for feedback outside your annual or six-monthly review. If your work is not challenging you to grow, find a way to dial up the challenge of your role. We all have an incredible opportunity to help create a better future for each other and to shape workplaces that are as exciting as a sports match final and as soulful as a spiritual retreat. Where Human Commerce and business profit both share equal space on meeting agendas and in business expenditure. When the well-being of a workforce is at the heart of every business decision, it creates a better, healthier, fairer and happier organisation, and the business role models how society can find happiness together in a disconnected world. Georgia If you are looking for ways to develop Visionary Leaders, a responsible workforce, or invest in yourself, our most popular professional and personal development programmes include:
 Written & contributed by Georgia Ellis I have always found being human fascinating, and as I continued to dive into the different sciences that underpin our humanness, I soon learned there is still so much we don’t know… which makes me wonder, with the pace of scientific enquiry and discoveries, how long will it be before what I know today… is well… irrelevant and outdated? For Humans to get along with each other, there is a need for all of us to increase our capacity for critical thinking. To move from thinking our way is the right and only way and from hunkering down on outdated thinking and paradigms, to being curious enough to seek more information, look at things from every angle and formulate a flexible adaptive opinion. In other words, not being stubborn in thinking that the conclusion I came to today, will still be valid and relevant tomorrow when more or new information comes to hand. Whether they know it or not, everyone lives most of their life from a biased vantage point, their Mindset. Our mindset is as unique as our thumbprint. It consists of our various values, perceptions, conclusions, assumptions and beliefs. All of these components create a filter or lens that you view the world through. To be able to see things differently, to appreciate new and diverse information, and sometimes opposing perspectives, and even solve wicked problems, we all need to be able view life from different vantage points. We must notice when we are experiencing cognitive dissonance and at least be open to the perspectives of those who challenge and disrupt our long held (and sometimes outdated) patterns of thinking. Open and curious dialogue can help us bounce between the black and white thinking that keeps us stuck, to meander and experiment in the grey between what we believe is right and wrong. We need to know how to get off of our self-imposed playing field and up into the grandstand to see the game of life being played out before our eyes. Then, and only then, can we join the dots, make the connections, see where we have gone wrong and more importantly what moves to make to improve the game of life, for ourselves and everyone. Your ability to see life from new or even opposing points of view is one element of critical thinking, it’s a mental muscle and similar to your physical muscles, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. In 2018 a picture of Prince William that went viral. It showed what looked like the prince giving the “bird” to a crowd of onlookers. However, different photographers captured the same moment from different vantage points, revealing that Prince William was actually holding up three fingers indicating the birth of his third child.  If you had only seen the first image, you would have likely created a story about the prince, your clever brain filling in the blanks to make an erroneous assumption. This is just how we work, and if you didn't have the opportunity to see the same event from a different vantage point, you likely would hold on to your incorrect assumption for some time. This simple example shows you how even a slight change of view or stepping into the shoes of someone else (in this case a different photographer), allows you to perceive an event, problem or situation in a different way. It also builds your ability to think critically and enhances your mental complexity. Perceptions are extensions of repeated and revisited thoughts and feelings. Strong emotions create very strong perceptions. You will only see the world, and people according to how your brain has been wired. This means that your beliefs and perceptions are completely attached to your past experiences and past thinking. Your perception may not be based on actual events and how they happened, it will be based on the thoughts, feelings and mental state at the time of an event. Your perception is formed about a person, situation, thing or experience once you become aware of it. Your brain fills in any missing information from past memories and experiences or by asking questions or making assumptions. Finally, you develop an understanding or belief about the person, situation, thing or experience. It becomes your point of view. How you saw the situation, how it made you feel and the thoughts you had about it creates your unique personal experience which will often be at odds with how other people who were involved in the same situation experienced it. This is why the people we live and work with have a different point of view to ours. Often causing conflict, confusion and even a break down in relationships, especially when people stubbornly hold on to their experience as the ultimate truth. This does not mean that there is no truth in someone’s account of a situation, there is often an element of truth to a person’s experience. Sometimes we can see their truth and sometimes due to our different perspective we can’t see what they see, often leading to disagreement. Rather than arguing, you can use a difference of opinion or perspective as an opportunity, an invitation, to become curious and better understand how or why people see things the way they do.  The three factors that can influence your perception are your experiences, your motivational state and your emotional state. In different motivational or emotional states, you will react to or perceive something in different ways. Also, in different situations you might employ a "perceptual defence" where you "see what you want to see" and disregard the facts. This is commonly known as ‘confirmation bias’, a unique way to distort reality to have it fit into how we believe the world to be. Steve Jobs is well known for doing this, his success was largely driven by holding on to an idea or point of view that brought Apples products to life. When people, including his own team, believed things couldn’t be done, Steve often saw things differently. Biographer Walter Isaacson writes that Robert Friedland "taught Steve the reality distortion field." (RDF). The RDF was said to be Steve Jobs' ability to convince himself, and others around him, to believe almost anything. He used a mix of charm, charisma, bravado, marketing prowess, appeasement and persistence. This approach was said to distort his co-workers' sense of proportion and scales of difficulties and to make them believe that whatever impossible task he had at hand was possible. This was the upside of his distorted reality, however Jobs also used the RDF to claim other peoples ideas as his own, even pitching an idea back to its originator, after dismissing it days earlier. Knowing that your point of view is based on your past thinking, and possibly outdated beliefs allows you to expand and strengthen your perception by taking on new points of view, perhaps like Steve, believing in possibility when no one else does. This is especially useful when you are faced with a problem you can’t solve. Changing the way you look at a problem, or changing the thoughts and beliefs you have about an issue can often lead to solutions and save many an argument. Most arguments are caused simply by the different ways in which we all see the world. Doing your best to put yourself in someone else's shoes can help to build stronger and more meaningful professional and personal relationships.  In our Life Reloaded suite of programs, we explore tools designed to help broaden perspective and increase mental complexity. We look at how a team or individual can map differing points of view to solve organisational challenges and polarising viewpoints. We also explore how to use a simple activity (shared below) to help people step into the shoes of anybody, at any time, in any given situation. Einstein has been attributed as saying “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that caused it” You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that caused it We tend to approach the world from the same perception that causes and creates our issues, making it difficult to find a solution or a way through it. I personally started using this simple activity after reading about a similar approach recommended in the classic book “Think & Grow Rich”. This is how easy it can be:
Although it appears simple this activity allows you use your imagination to see things from another person’s point of view. Imagining that you are someone else shifts your thinking patterns, helps you to temporarily suspend your own mindset, release your biased point of view allowing new information to flow to you. You may find this to be a simplistic way of looking at your problems, however I encourage you to experiment with it the next time you feel stuck. With a deeper understanding of perception and the right tools to shift your point of view, you will build confidence in your ability to resolve conflict, solve your own problems and shift your perspective in a powerful way. Learning to walk in another persons shoes and manage polarisation are great tools to have, especially in the world we live in. This form or critical thinking allows you to tap into new information and to see the upside of the things that are opposite to what you personally value, and acknowledge that your side isn’t perfect, it allows you and those you live and work with to be better humans together. Contact Blue Chip Minds to learn how to strengthen yours or your teams perception and increase mental flexibility.
Written and contributed by Stephen Gibb  Around nine months ago, my daughter Willow developed a fear of elevators. Each time we walked towards one, Willow would become hyper-vigilant. Her breath would quicken, and she would cling tightly to me. If I resisted, Willow would begin to cry and become incredibly distressed.
Willow and I live on the top floor of an apartment block. It was upsetting to see her in distress every time we would leave or return home together. My reassurances that elevators held nothing to fear didn’t help. And, while I did my best to convince her, infants don’t care about calming breathing techniques or cognitive reframing when in floods of tears. These tools are, however, very beneficial for adults — more on that later. On one swelteringly hot day, when the elevator was out of order, Willow and I were forced to climb down and then back up four flights of stairs. Willow complained of sore legs and tiredness every step of the way (other than when I was carrying her of course), which made what happened next even more surprising. Every day afterwards, Willow asked to use the stairs rather than the elevator, even volunteering to climb all four flights unassisted. Willow had found a way to avoid the uncomfortable feelings brought on by the elevator and was undeterred by the extra effort, discomfort and inconvenience involved. I, however, wasn’t a fan of Willows labour-intensive plan. I believed she would outgrow her fear and, in what now seems like an act of torture, subjected her to many more stressful rides in the elevator. That was until I understood the underlying cause of her distress. Fear primarily refers to an experience in which we are faced with an immediate or expected threat to our life or wellbeing. This is called a rational or appropriate fear and is typical and even helpful in dangerous situations. It serves a protective purpose, activating the automatic “fight-or-flight” response to keep us safe. Another category of fear exists, namely irrational or inappropriate fear. These are fears of something that poses little or no actual danger. Although irrational fears can become so severe that they interfere with everyday life. When they do, they’re called phobias. When confronted with the thing feared, the terror is automatic and overwhelming. The experience can be so nerve-wracking that you will go to great lengths to avoid it — inconveniencing yourself or even changing your lifestyle. This is what was happening to Willow. As it turns out, Willow didn’t feel threatened by the elevator at all. In fact, the elevator was only a trigger for Willows phobia and experience of anxiety. Willow was anxious about the elevator doors separating her from her dad, and the potential of becoming lost. Anxiety is a natural part of life and, at normal levels, helps us to function at our best. It’s what motivates us to plan for the future. In this sense, it’s a good thing. It’s that nagging feeling that encourages us to study for that test practice harder for that game or be at our very best in that presentation. However, some people experience such intense anxiety that it is no longer helpful or useful. They may become so overwhelmed and distracted by anxiety that they fail their test, fumble the ball, or spend the whole presentation stumbling over their words and staring at the floor. Anxiety can be incredibly challenging to control and at its worst completely debilitating. The difference between fear and anxiety is exceptionally nuanced. The perceived threats (physical or imagined) are processed in the same parts of our brain and cause us to experience many similar symptoms and feelings when they occur. However, being able to spot the difference is critical in being able to handle the situation and alleviate the discomfort. Because Willow never feared the elevator, my attempts to convince her that it was safe were destined to fail. When Willow offered to take the stairs, it wasn’t to avoid using the elevator, it was to dodge the stimulus of the anxiety associated with becoming lost. Willow had stumbled upon a way to suppress the anxiety through avoidance. However, she wasn’t addressing the underlying phobia, meaning there could be numerous other triggers that could cause distress in the future. Stress, the bodies response to fear and anxiety, is a rapidly increasing challenge of modern society. From an evolutionarily perspective, stress was designed to help us focus on the present moment and by preparing the body to move. It was intended for short irregular applications to help us escape from something or capture something else. Today, however, many of us live in a state of perpetual stress, or, to give it its clinical name, chronic stress. Over time, repeated activation of the stress response takes a toll on the body. It can cause high blood pressure, the formation of artery-clogging deposits, changes in the brain that may lead to depression and addiction and even obesity. It appears that benign irrational fears can, in fact, be as life-threatening as their rational equivalents. It is critical, therefore, to take steps to lessen stress in life to maintain a clean bill of health. I am adept at findings ways to relieve the discomfort of stress, and like Willow, will accept sacrifices to do so. These can be as trivial as leaving the house early to avoid busy public transport or as significant as giving up a personal ambition for fear of failure. Regretfully, this behaviour has deprived me of our meaningful opportunities to learn, grow and lead a liberated more vibrant life. Most people know when something in their life isn’t working. However, they lack the tools to understand what’s wrong and what remedial steps to take. Fear, or more specifically, anxiety, can be a great indicator of what’s not working. It can also be the catalyst and impetus to step outside of our comfort zone to address the root cause and develop as an individual. The way I permanently address anxiety and alleviate stress is to eliminate the uncertainty associated with the underlying fear. For Willow, that is a work in progress. I’ve been teaching her what to do if we become separated, not just by the elevator but anywhere. However, the solution to becoming lost goes beyond just knowing how to find each other again. It includes reassuring Willow that I am there for her, that she can rely on me and when she is a little older, that she’ll be capable of independence. This is a tougher nut to crack, but we will get there. Working through uncertainty is a cognitive process of gathering information that invalidates your fear or increases your comprehension of the imagined situation and how to handle it. Providing your brain with the understanding, you can overcome the fear serves to turn down the volume on the anxiety. The more certainty you can develop around fear, the quieter the anxiety and the resultant stress becomes. Managing uncertainty can take time, and unsurprisingly, anxiety and stress doesn’t disappear while we are trying to develop certainty. It’s beneficial, therefore, to have some tools that can help release the pressure when it all gets too much. The tools below were shared by Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman from Stanford University on a recent Thrive Global post. They act on the core nervous system to shift us from “fight-or-flight” into the “rest-and-digest” state, and in doing so, calm us down. 1. Use Panoramic Vision The focus of the eyes is closely linked to felt levels of stress. Engaging panoramic vision (looking straight ahead and allowing the peripheral vision to expand), can positively impact stress levels. When feeling stressed or experiencing a build-up of anxiety. Lifting the gaze away from the screen and looking ahead can have a profoundly positive affect. Or better still, increase the impact by getting outside into nature and viewing the horizon; bonus points for a sunrise or sunset. 2. Exhale Emphasised Breathing/Physiological Sighs One of the most common things people say when someone is stressed is to take a deep breath. However, studies show that it’s actually the exhale that plays the most significant role in the calming the nervous system. Inhale focused breathing (any breathing technique in which the inhale is longer) increases agitation and stress in the body; which can be valuable under certain circumstances. Exhale emphasised breathing, where the exhale is longer, allows the nervous system to be reset to base levels. Completing two to five rounds of a physiological sigh — double inhale (breath in, pause, breath in again) and long sigh out the mouth — will be impactful in lowering stress levels. 3. Take Action Often times when stress arises, the last thing I feel like is doing is moving. I have even found myself in a state of paralysis in exceptional circumstances. Other times I have attempted to suppress the overwhelming feeling of stress because I’m not sure how to handle it. These reactions are counterintuitive to our physiology. Rising levels of stress are the nervous systems way of encouraging forward movement to take action towards confronting a challenge or problem. Doing so provides the rewarded of a release of dopamine — a feel-good chemical in the brain that is part of the body’s reward system. This dopamine hit suppressed the internal chemicals responsible for the feeling of stress and strengthens the “take action” circuit of the brain. Making it easier to take action the next time stress takes hold. I can achieve a similar outcome by taking action on something wholly disassociated from the source of the stress. Just succeeding at making a cup of coffee, putting on a load of washing on or making the bed can also stimulate a release of dopamine in moments of heightened distress. So, what can we learn from Willow, a three-year-old little girl with a fear of becoming lost? 1. All fear, including anxiety-inducing irrational fear, can be life-threatening. What life-threatening anxiety and suffering are you choosing to live with? 2. It’s easier for us to find avoidant workarounds rather than facing our fears. What are the workarounds masking your fears, and inhibiting your growth opportunities? 3. Irrational fear and the resultant feeling of anxiety can be overcome by eliminating uncertainty. What steps will you take to bring certainty to the context of an existing fear? Just before I published this article, I spoke to some close friends. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing by putting a story about my beloved daughter on the internet. One piece of feedback was so thought-provoking; I thought it worth sharing. “…maybe change this line, because it is only when it comes to lifts, the line below implies she has it in all situations? So, what can we learn from Willow, a three-year-old girl with a fear of becoming lost? I don’t know if you want to label her. All kids look for their parents” The same concern had crossed my mind. Willows situation is primarily concerning elevators, but there have been other instances too, and most kids do worry about becoming lost. But, I think this is an excellent illustration of a large part of the problem. We are societally scared to label and confront our fears. Instead, we put on a brave face, muddle through and die a little more inside each day. I don’t want that for my daughter or for anyone else. It is my hope that the research I did to write this will allow me to help Willow overcome her fear and that in reading it, others will be inspired to do the same.  In March 2020, life started to feel a little funky, and not in the cool hip, bluesy kind of way, more of a holy almighty what has just happened to the world as I knew it kind of panic funk, and I’m certain I wasn’t the only one feeling this heavy uneasy feeling. Retrospect is a wonderful thing and six months on, I am grateful for all the knowledge and practices I had leading up to the occurrence of this global funk. I was able to navigate out of it, with a quick journey up to a higher perspective, noticing what was contributing to my personal experience of what was going on in the world, taking stock of what I could control, and then taking decisive action and maintaining practices that would allow me to weather this unrelenting onslaught of confusion. Taking decisive action and maintaining practices that would allow me to weather this unrelenting onslaught of confusion. There are many tools and ideas that I called on during this time, but the one I believe that served me the most was an idea I was introduced to in 2004 as part of a Leadership program I had attended. The idea was simple; I could either choose to approach life from one of two narratives, that of a person who has mastery over their life or one who has adopted a victim mentality. I recall having to list all the traits of a victim and a master. Upon reflection, I promptly decided that Mastering my life was where it was all a. So began the long and never-ending path to Mastery of Self, I began doing my best to model my life on being a person who took full responsibility for their outcomes, I began reflecting and adapting behaviours along the way. This was a game changer for me, I was letting go of allowing external forces such as relationships, the economy, managers or any situation outside of my control define who I was and how I felt, I was determined to dive into the depths of my being to see what I was really made of, oh and for what it’s worth, I am still doing that! Years later I would come across two other frameworks that expanded on these Victim / Master narratives. I was introduced to two new roles that keep us in a state of Funk and two additional roles that would allow me to show up as a better human to those I was sharing life with, move beyond the ongoing cycle of uncertainty and victim hood. Enter ‘The Drama Triangle’ (Stephen Karpmen) and ‘The Empowerment Dynamic’ (David Emerald). These ideas took me from looking at how I showed up for myself in life and introduced me to the roles I (and you) play in every human interaction and in every situation. I now had a detailed brief of the games we all unwittingly play together. The ongoing narratives we shift between that keeps us, and as we are experiencing on a global scale, the world in the funk of Drama and the roles we can choose to step into, to finally lift that funk. Roles that keep us in the Funk. The three roles in Karpman’s Drama Triangle are Victim, Rescuer & Persecutor.
 Freeing yourself from the Funk, requires a shift from reacting in a situation to choosing to pause and consciously respond to life’s events. When you practice responding, you take yourself out of the situation and are better equipped to observe your behaviours. David Emerald ‘s book “The Empowerment Dynamic” provides alternatives to playing in the dysfunctional Drama Triangle. You can move from showing up as a Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer to interacting in a positive and empowering way. With curiosity and compassion, you can move from being a rescuer to a supporter, from a persecutor to a challenger and from being a Victim of Circumstances to Self-Authoring and creating your life. Freed From The Funk “In order to change an existing paradigm you do not struggle to try and change the problematic model. You create a new model and make the old one obsolete.” - Buckminster Fuller Using the wisdom of Buckminster Fuller you can switch out the Drama roles by creating new mental models that would look like this.
 You will notice a clear difference between the roles, the roles trapped in drama keep everyone stagnant, angry, anxious and frustrated. While the empowering roles facilitate growth, and physical, mental and emotional well being. It takes moments to read about these roles, however it takes a lifetime of application to master the empowering behaviours that will free you from the funk. As you reflect on life right now, this perpetual funk that most find themselves in, ask yourself, am I keeping myself here, am I dancing around with my friends and family in Drama or are we empowering ourselves and those we care about to take responsibility and self-author our way to greater agency? I want to leave you with this quote by Jim Rohn as food for thought and to inspire you to no longer being the victim to what is happening in the world we share, but to choose to take responsibility and create circumstances that turn the Funk into Funky (in a bluesy kind of way) “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” - Jim Rohn Let's dance!
Georgia The Life Reloaded and Future Ready Leadership programs run by Blue Chip Minds dive deep into these models and much more to help you to stop dabbling in Drama and begin to reclaim your personal agency.  I am often astounded by the number of people who feel stuck, frustrated or challenged by life's uncertainties. I can even become a little perplexed as to why so many of my fellow humans are still ignorant to their own potential and resourcefulness. I have come to understand that how teachable a person is plays a big part in their ability to progress and move though life's challenges. Years ago I was introduced o a concept called the "Teachability Index" and I'd love to share it with you as it may just shine a light as to why you may not be progressing as you would like. Why 'Teachability' Matters If you're not teachable or coachable you won't receive the full benefits from any development interventions you invest in. Not being teachable reduces your ability to really maximize the potential lying dormant with in you. Regardless of whether you are a great teacher yourself, an expert or even highly intellectual you'll never reap the rewards from life if you are not teachable. In fact thinking you already know something is a very dangerous mindset that has the potential to stop you living a fulfilled life. Those living a fulfilled life have open minds and understand there is always more to learn. To be teachable you have to accept how much you don't know. Do you know that you don't know what you don't know? Think about that question for a while and let it sink in. Being teachable means you listen and absorb information without challenging it by disagreeing. You're not going to blindly follow it either. You're going to believe what is presented as the truth – but you are going to question it until you understand why it's true or possibly not true – you must be teachable! Understanding teachability opens the doors to a world of information, knowledge and possibilities. So how teachable are you? There is a great way to find out by calculating your own Teachability Index. The Teachability Index will help you determine how teachable you really are. Calculating Your Teachability Index There are two variables you need to consider when it comes to teachability. The First Variable The first variable is determined by asking yourself "What is my willingness to learn? “And then scaling it from one to ten. This will determine how high your willingness to learn the information is. You can apply this index across any area of life and in any form of study. You must have a high teachability index otherwise you're wasting your time. You can't read something once and think you know everything, if you do think this is the way to learn you will easily become unteachable. On a scale of one to ten what's your willingness to learn new information? To help you determine your scale, answering some of these questions may help. • What are you willing to do? • How much time are you willing to invest? • How much money are you willing to invest? • How much effort are you willing to put in? • What are you willing to give up? In most cases people think they have a high willingness to learn but they don't. The real question is – What are you willing to give up to learn this information? What's your favorite thing to do? Perhaps it's watching an enite Netflix series in one sitting, maybe you like to sleep in, what about the time you spend on social media. Are you willing to dramatically reduce the time you spend doing your favorite thing, or give it up completely so you can immerse yourself in new content, information and activities? The Second Variable The second variable is even tougher than the first. It’s determining how willing you are to accept change. If you are not happy with where you're at right now it’s obvious that something has to change. The reason the second variable is tougher than the first is because you have done things a certain way and you have thought a certain way up until this point (potentially a very long time). Your actions and thoughts continually create the results you are getting. They are patterns that you have formed in your subconscious mind and it’s these patterns that you're going to have to change to fully maximize who you are. So, really you need to ask yourself: What is my willingness to change the way I think, the way I feel about things and what I habitually do? What is your willingness to change? For example:
You may think you’re 10/10 and say convincingly to yourself… "I’m going to learn this information, but change... no, I don’t want to change anything in my life”. The Formula  Willingness to Learn X Willingness to accept change = Teachability Index If you’re willingness to learn is a ten, and your willingness to accept change is a zero. Ten multiplied by zero equals zero (10 x 0 = 0). You have a ZERO teachability index, you are not teachable. You must have both a high willingness to learn and a high willingness to accept change to have a high teachability index. If you have a high teachability index you would be thinking and saying things like:
If this sounds like you, then you would score a ten in willingness to learn. If you would also be saying and thinking things like:
If this sounds like you then you would score a ten in willingness to accept change. Therefore ten multiplied by ten equals one-hundred (10 x 10 =100) – You are the perfect student. Your attitude toward growth and learning will reap rewards in a short period of time. You will quickly notice positive changes in your results because you will learn and understand new information better than most. Why Most People Fail Most People Fail Because They Refuse to Be...
Most people don't fully maximize who they are or they fail in their endeavours due to a low willingness to learn, even if they do have a high willingness to learn, they often have a low willingness to accept change. These people keep doing the same things over and over again and they refuse to change their thinking, beliefs and habits. Those unhelpful, unhealthy and unproductive habits that have been a part of your life for so long have established very strong, ingrained, neural pathways in the brain and are lodged in the subconscious. Most people find it hard to change because they lack the knowledge and deep understanding of how to form new neural pathways that will create new patterns and programs at the subconscious level. You must understand that a low teachability index is a major cause of failure. Not everyone will score 100 all of the time, there maybe some things you are not willing to change, things you won’t be willing to do and times when you may not feel like learning. Regardless it’s recommended that you check-in regularly to see what your Teachability Index score is. A simple way to check in with yourself in a situation where you find yourself, distracted, disengaged, disagreeing, bored, or saying things like "I know" ask yourself 'Am I being teachable?" Calculate Your Score Be completely honest with yourself and give yourself a score out of ten for the two Teachability Index variables.
There is no right or wrong answer with your final score. Knowing your Teachability Index score builds self-awareness and is a powerful tool for change. If you feel your score is too low… ask yourself: “What can I do to raise my score, what will it take and am I committed to doing what it takes” Now that you know how teachable you are ask yourself – “Am I happy with my current results?” You know that there are certain things in your life that could be better, listen to that deep innate calling inside of you that’s searching for more… not always more material possessions, it may simply be more of the good things in life, more time, more love, more happiness, more confidence, more growth or greater fulfillment. With a high teachability index, a high level of self-awareness and an understanding of human potential you will be poised and ready to maximize who you are and confidently self author your life. An Important note: To truly optimise who you are you must understand that your teachability index is never stagnant. You must continually consider how teachable you are because it will change from moment to moment depending on your priorities and the knowledge you have. You will always go up and down in teachability, it's like a sponge there's only so much you can take in before you become full and are no longer teachable. Being teachable means that you can't learn a new concept right now and say "I've got it” – being teachable actually means you're never going to get it… And here's the reason why… it’s because you will always be “getting it”. The best thing you can do is notice the times when you say “I know” or “I read a book on this or that topic” or “I have this or that qualification” or "I've done this before" because as soon as you say or think things like this, you automatically close your mind, you are no longer teachable and you block access to your untapped potential. Think of the times when someone has been explaining something to you and your immediately respond with “I know, I got this, I know, no need to go on I’ve heard it before”. When you react like this in that moment you are not open to the possibility of learning something new, or hearing a different perspective on a concept. You are not teachable and you can not maximize who you are. Contributor: Georgia Ellis  Georgia is the founder of Blue Chip Minds. She is dedicated to helping individuals and businesses to unlock their hidden potential, achieve personal mastery, increase productivity, tune into flow and thrive now and well into the future.
Georgia curates content and provides education and application on what science is discovering about the human experience. She draws on the latest findings in: positive psychology, flow science, neurobiology, quantum theory, emotional intelligence, epigenetics and neuroscience. Georgia has worked with organisations in sectors including; banking and finance, entertainment, medical, logistics, technology, education, procurement, event management, health & fitness, manufacturing and retail. Her programs and services have been provided to people in Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong, India, United Arab Emirates, Austria, South Africa, New Zealand, Japan, France, Ireland, United Kingdom, United States, Brazil, Belgium and Canada. Contributor: Maurice Schill (Founder & CEO of JuJu)  The appeal of High-Performance Teams (HPTs) has never been higher. Especially in our highly competitive world where the competitive edge now comes from how well teams can work together. Big companies like Google spend millions of dollars on programs, training and experts to help their teams access the highest performance levels. Then they spend millions more on designing environments best suited to HPTs. These companies continue to hire the best, retain the best and get the best out of their teams. Better results, better products, more innovation and higher profit margins, which all lead to… You guessed it, even more money for them to spend on developing their teams and environments. This is leading to an ever-growing gap, making it harder for small and medium businesses to find a competitive edge when it comes to their people. It's fully understandable that this can be a little disheartening. However, not all hope is lost. The truth is you don't need millions of dollars, sleeping pods, ping pong tables or free lunches to get the most out of your team. Most of these are actually just gimmicks or PR stunts. According to separate research conducted by Gallup, BCG, and OCTanner, it turns out that what matters most to people is who they work with, and how appreciated they feel. Leveraging this insight, small and medium businesses can regain their upper footing by investing in the relationships that exist within their teams. The good news? It doesn't require a large coin purse. Although there a many things businesses can do to improve the strength of relationships at work, there is one specific approach that is often overlooked. Appreciation. Why appreciation is essential to cultivating HPTs It's all based on human psychology. One of our deepest, most ingrained desires is to be appreciated and valued. It helps us feel like we belong, and that what we do matters. When people are appreciated they show the best versions of themselves, are more resilient to stress, and more likely to go above and beyond for others. All of these factors are important drivers for creating High-Performance Teams. Appreciation is also a form of feedback that reinforces good behaviours. When done correctly it can help create a small and constructive feedback loop, essential in cultivating a High-Performance Team. How you can effectively appreciate your team Although a thank you is a good start, it won't deliver the expected results. There are 4 behaviours to effective appreciation you must apply. 1. Be Genuine  We have an uncanny ability to sense when people are not being real with us. When we express appreciation from a place where we don't really mean it, we actually do more harm than good. It builds distrust in the relationships. Properly expressing appreciation means we have to make the other person believe that we mean it. When you say "thank you" to someone for a job well done you leave a lot of room for misinterpretation. The solution: Tell them why their action or words meant something to you. How did it change or impact you? Use this formula to ensure you express appreciation genuinely:
By going through this exercise you also force yourself to find a reason you actually appreciate that person 2. Get Specific  The more detailed you can get in your expression of appreciation the more meaning it has. You want them to know exactly what it is you appreciated. So focus on being clear and precise. If you tell them... "Thank you so much for that great presentation, it really helped me get clarity on what I need to do next." ... they may believe it's genuine, but won't know the details of how their actions helped you. Therefore it has no meaningful context. To get specific ask yourself:
It may be something like this: "Thank you for that great presentation, I really enjoyed how you broke down our complex marketing strategy into easy to follow steps. It really clarified what I need to do to make sure our new website fits with the overarching strategy." Now, they believe you, know exactly what they did well, and how it impacted you positively. When expressed like this, appreciation is much more potent as it helps connect their reality with the impact they've had on other people - which in turn creates meaning in their life. Yes, it takes a bit longer and might take 2 minutes to write out instead of 10 seconds, but the impact is so much greater. 3. Tailor Your Approach  Every person has their own preference around how they like to be appreciated. In fact, there are 5 languages of appreciation you can use. Knowing what your team's preference is, makes a huge difference. When you use the wrong preference it may be that the person doesn't even recognise that you are trying to appreciate them. So, all your efforts have gone to waste. Here are a couple of examples:
Being aware of what these preferences are within your team will make a huge difference to them and how likely they are to perform at the highest possible level. Here is a tip: We tend to express our appreciation the way we would like to receive it. Pay attention to how others are expressing their appreciation, which will give you an indicator of what they might like. 4. Be Timely  Lastly, and just as important as the last 3 behaviours, you have to express your appreciation for what they did in an appropriate time frame. I recommend trying to keep it within 24 hours, however, this is not always feasible. Make sure to do it ASAP. Waiting until your next meeting or catch-up might be too late. You have to let them know when it's still fresh in their mind. As humans, we are wired for instant feedback and gratification. The longer you wait, the less rewarding it becomes for them. Go out and try it! When you start applying these four behaviours in how you communicate appreciation, you won't just become a better communicator and leader, but will also inspire and educate your team by proxy to engage in similar behaviours. The first couple of times might feel a bit weird to you. That is simply because you are not used to it. Remember, it's not about you, it's about making the other person feel valued. So, now it's your time to apply this. Good luck!
We’ve all been there. The looming deadline. The high stakes work. The pressure mounting. The finish line and our chances of getting there are touch and go. But we rise up to the challenge, not only hitting the mark but smashing it out of the park. As we breathe a sigh of relief we say to ourselves, ‘Never again’. But soon we find ourselves back there again. Why? Well in a word, stress. Or more to the point, our complicated relationship with stress. We NEED stress...the good kind that is. It drives up productivity allowing us to achieve beyond perceived limits. The challenge these days is that the story of stress in modern society often only highlights the bad. Anxiety, burnout, poor motivation, are all horrible negative elements that occur when we become over stressed. So to discover which stress is good and which isn’t, we need to journey back in time and dig into the history of stress. This history lesson will provide a really useful framework for developing individuals and organisations that thrive under pressure. The birth of stress Stress as a term has only been around since the early 20th Century and was coined by the “Father of Stress”, Slovakian Scientist Hans Selye when he was testing a hypothesis on ovarian hormones using rats as the test subject. Selye discovered that no matter what substance he substituted for the ovarian hormone, the same reactions happened in the rats. It wasn’t the substance that was instigating the reaction. It was the situation. The situation set off a chain of reactions and those reactions were the same no matter what substance was used. Eventually the rats would die from the sustained stress of the situation. Two sides to every story Selye defined stress “as an organisms unspecific reaction to any kind of external demand.” He also defined stress as both positive and negative. Positive stress was named ‘eustress’, based on the Greek word ‘Eu’ meaning good and negative stress was labelled ‘distress’, inspired by the Latin word ‘Dis’, meaning bad. Distress can lead to anxiety if the stress is too high but on the flip side, can also lead to boredom if the stress is not enough. Yep, you read it right. Low stress is also a negative stress. The current narrative on stress highlights the negative. When we think of the word stress, we instantly are drawn to our own negative experiences. Stress is bad. That’s what we know, that’s what we believe. But unfortunately it is only half the narrative. To help guide us, we will use a powerful framework to understand the thinking that occurs when we are placed under stress. It is within this framework that we can start to negotiate the necessary mindset, skill sets and coping strategies to turn the tide on stress. Situation and Self Inspired by Dr. Selye’s work, Dr. Richard Lazarus and Dr. Susan Folkman developed the Transactional Model of Stress. In this framework, stress ‘is the result of a transactional process between a person and the environment’ (Peifer, 2012). When an external demand (challenge/pressure) is placed on an individual, a certain process is followed. The first assessment we make is whether or not the situation is a threat. If a threat is perceived, we make a second appraisal. Do I have the strategies to cope with this situation? It is this key decision that shapes the stress path we choose. If we believe we don’t have the ability to cope, the stress is perceived as negative stress or distress. If we believe we have the ability to cope, we perceive the stress as eustress and this creates the opportunity for optimal performance.  The demands of the situation meet our skill level and we rise to the challenge.
The work flows out of us effortlessly. We connect disparate ideas. We lose all sense of time and feel deeply connected to the work We are uber productive. We enter an optimal state of consciousness that psychology calls ‘flow’. Flow - the antidote to stress Coined by Hungarian Psychologist, Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, flow is an “altered state of consciousness in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.” It is an optimal state of experience and performance. In flow, people feel great and their performance is elevated. It boosts both morale and productivity. So how much more productive can you be in flow? How about up to five times? In a ten year study by McKinsey and Company, 5000 high performing executives operating at their peak reported being up to five times more productive when in Flow. This number varied from person to person but on average executives felt that their output dramatically increased when in a flow state. The challenge however, was that these executives also self reported only being in Flow about 10% of the time. As well as driving up our performance, Flow is one of the only times where five of our most potent neurochemicals are released in our brain at the same time. These neurochemicals enable us to connect disparate ideas, focus intensely, feel really good and connect deeper with other humans. As the Flow Genome Project, a world leading authority on Flow Science, state in their definition of Flow, “we feel our best and perform our best.” Making friends with stress Stress is required for Flow to show up. Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi listed nine dimensions of Flow and one key Flow dimension is called the Challenge/Skills ratio. This refers directly to stress. Stress is the demands or challenge of a situation. We need to increase/decrease the demands of task to a point that is suitable for our skill level. If the demands are too high, our anxiety rises. If the demands are too low, it promotes boredom. Finding the Goldilocks spot, where it is just right, helps drive our attention into the now. Cortisol, aka the stress chemical, is released and this helps us focus with more intensity. Cortisol enhances selective attention in the brain which filters out superfluous information and tightens focus on the task at hand. We become better at blocking out information that doesn’t enable us to achieve our goal and we become deeply immersed in the task at hand. In an age of distraction, this capacity to deeply focus on demanding work is a modern day superpower and it enables us to reach a peak state of performance. It enables us to be more productive and to feel our best. Strategies for building a better stress relationship
Contributor: Steve Brophy |
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This blog is led by Georgia Ellis, executive coach and founder of Blue Chip Minds. With a depth of experience across leadership development, management training, and executive coaching, Georgia brings a practical and considered lens to the realities of leadership, performance, and human behaviour in the workplace. Occasionally, selected guest contributors share insights that complement this perspective. Archives
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Leadership. Mindset. Human performance.
Working with Individuals and organisations in;
Australia | Singapore | Hong Kong | United States | India | United Kingdom | New Zealand | Canada
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