Contributed by: Georgia Ellis

Have you ever known what to do to experience the results you want but somehow you just can’t do what you know you need to do?
 
The thing is….
 
I know you have… because I have too.
 
I have spent 20+ years gathering all sorts of information from books, podcasts, training, seminars and experts, a hellova lot of knowledge, yet for the most part… I do nothing with it… a potential waste of my time and money.
 
Having had a fascination, and also worked, in the human potential and personal effectiveness space for the same amount of time I have witnessed first-hand how participants of my programs, coaching clients and I have all struggled with this often frustrating phenomena.
 
But, I have also noticed an anomaly…
 
It seems that the people with high levels of self-discipline are the ones who take the information they gather and do something with it… going on to achieve success across different aspects of their life such as improved physical health, more resilience and better personal and professional relationships.
 
And once I understood this anomaly… I began to put it to use, I decided, that if I wasn’t going to commit to putting into action the things I learn, I wasn’t going to waste my time (or money) on gathering more information that may make me sound smart… but it sure as hell wouldn’t make me wise!
 
My decisions had to be backed with a high level of self-discipline.
 
Many years ago one of my mentors provided me with a description of self -disciple that changed the game for me personally. He said “Self-discipline is the ability to give yourself a command and then follow it”
 
Self-discipline is also a key component to building trust, you’ve likely heard it plenty of times… “do what you say you will do” – but when it comes to self-discipline its actually a conversation that occurs in the safety, and privacy, of your head, where no one else knows what you are attempting to commit to, effectively know one will know if you fail… except you.

Self-discipline is the ability to trust yourself to act, even when no one else knows what you are striving towards.
 
If I couldn’t commit to the commands I gave myself to adopt new and improved ways of being – then my personal and professional goals were going to be relegated to the realm of wishful thinking,…
 
and I’d stay stuck right where I was!
 
While the principle is simple in theory, I know from personal experience that it can be profoundly challenging in practice.

For those of you navigating the business world, attempting to meet objectives, manage a team or prevent burnout, mastering self-discipline can make the difference between thriving and burning out, between been trapped in a cycle of drama and being empowered, between mediocrity and excellence, and between influencing not only personal performance but also the success of entire teams and organisations.

At its core, self-discipline involves having clear goals, making deliberate choices, and consistently acting in alignment with those decisions. It’s about resisting the temptation to deviate from your path, regardless of distractions or difficulties.

The concept is elegantly captured in the adage: “Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t want to do it.” 

I have noticed that some people (those less effective in achieving goals) can easily put off doing what’s required to get to where they want to go – as Don Sula said – “It’s the start that stops most people.”

One of the significant challenges in achieving self-discipline is the knowing-doing gap, a term popularised by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton in their influential book, “The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action.” This gap refers to the disconnect between consciously knowing what needs to be done (information held at a conscious level) and actually doing it (a role of our subconscious mind).

For most of us this gap can be a formidable barrier to success.
 
In most instances, we are well aware of what we need to do to achieve our goals. We attend seminars, read books, and develop strategic plans. However, translating this knowledge into consistent action is where many falter. This gap can stem from various factors, including fear of failure, low levels of self-awareness, lack of confidence, not understanding how the mind works, and the allure of short-term rewards over long-term benefits.

Bridging the knowing-doing gap requires a concerted effort to cultivate self-discipline. Here are some strategies to enhance your self-discipline and ensure that your actions align with your knowledge and goals:
 
1.   Get clear on what it is you want and why: Ask yourself questions like, “What is It I really want in this situation?”, “Is this what I want or is it what I think others want me to achieve or who others want me to be?”,  “What will achieving this goal bring to my life/career?” or “How will reaching this goal impact my long-term happiness and fulfillment?”, “How grateful would my future self be if I set out on this goal today?”, “How will others benefit when I achieve my goal?”

A goal that you are emotionally connected to often provides the intrinsic motivation to get started.
 
2. Develop a Routine: Consistent routines and habits can reduce the mental energy required to make decisions, making it easier to stay disciplined. And when your intrinsic motivation begins to wane, any well-honed practices that are now routines will run on autopilot, requiring very little (if any) self-motivation.

3.   Prioritise Tasks: Set yourself up for success with written to-do lists. It may sound basic, but it really works. When we write down tasks the night before, our subconscious mind processes them while we sleep, often leading to fresh ideas and solutions by morning. This mental preparation helps us wake up ready to tackle the day with greater focus and effectiveness, ensuring that we hit the ground running and accomplish our goals more efficiently. Remember to focus on high-priority tasks that align with your long-term goals. Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to differentiate between urgent and important tasks, ensuring that your efforts are directed toward activities that yield the best results.

4.   Practice Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, reducing impulsivity and enhancing self-control. Techniques such as meditation and journaling can foster greater self-awareness and discipline.

5.   Hold Yourself Accountable: Establish accountability mechanisms, such as regular self-reflection, peer reviews, or mentorship. Being accountable to others can reinforce your commitment to disciplined action.

6.   Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity: Fear of failure often paralyses action. Reframe failure as a valuable learning experience and an integral part of the growth process. This mindset shift can reduce anxiety and enhance your willingness to take disciplined action.

I bet you’ve felt it before, those times when you feel like you are performing like a superhuman… you’re devouring your to do list in record time , fresh ideas are emerging, information you have gathered is effortlessly finding a home in your work and time has no meaning to you, Oh and did I mention that  it feels amazing!
 
This optimal state is known in the circles I move in as “flow”.
 
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a renowned psychologist, studied this and found that you reach flow when you have both self-discipline and the ability to let go, or surrender.
 
When you practice self-discipline, you set yourself up to enter this flow state more often. Discipline helps you start tasks and stay on track, while surrender helps you enjoy the process without worrying too much. At the intersection of discipline and surrender, you can find flow, which is a sure fire way to increase your personal effectiveness!

If you manage or lead people, modelling self-discipline sets a powerful example for your team. When your team members observe you consistently following through on commitments, prioritising long-term goals over short-term gains, and maintaining a disciplined approach to work, they are more likely to adopt similar behaviours. This creates a culture of discipline within the organization, driving collective success.
 
You can foster self-discipline in you teams by providing clear expectations (goals), linking those goals to what matters to them, offering support and resources, and recognising and rewarding disciplined behaviour. Encouraging a growth mindset and resilience in the face of challenges can also help team members develop their self-discipline.

A few weeks ago, I caught up with a business owner who shared his lack of good routines and he asked whether my practices changed when I traveled for work.

I said "No they don’t…"

He then commented on how disciplined I was with my morning routine and life in general (what I like to call my not negotiable’s)

I simply replied…

"It’s easy to be disciplined when you realise it gives you more freedom".

As a coach and facilitator on all things personal and leadership effectiveness, I have witnessed many a person who lacks discipline and their life and work is riddled with stress, chaos, burn out and health issues…

If you want to perform or feel better, I suggest you start falling in love with a disciplined life! Start by determining your ‘Not Negotiables’ - and then stick to them – no matter what, at first it will require a big dose of will-power, and over time those regular practices will become who you are!

In today’s fast-paced business world, the ability to stay disciplined is a game-changer.

Here’s why discipline is your key to more freedom:

Achieve Your Goals: Discipline helps you consistently reach your goals, paving the way for growth and fulfillment.

Master Your Time: Effective time management through discipline eliminates last-minute stress and gives you more time to do what you love.

Reduce Stress: Order and predictability reduce stress, allowing you to focus on the demands of life with a clear mind.

Form Healthy Habits: Turning positive actions into automatic habits frees up mental energy for creative and strategic thinking.

Boost Confidence: Consistent discipline builds self-confidence, empowering you to tackle new challenges and lead yourself with a sense of assurance.

Self-discipline is a vital attribute for bridging the gap between knowing and doing. 

Discipline really is the bridge between goals and accomplishment - and you need to build that bridge if you want a better life!.

Contributed by: Georgia Ellis

“I want to discover my Leadership style” said one participant at the kick off masterclass of the 22 week emerging leader program - The Future Ready Leaders Toolkit. What she said was in response to my question “What are your intentions for the program and why are you here?”

The other participants began to nod in agreement. They too wanted to find their "true selves".

Sure this sounds like a great goal… (and one that I hear a lot in the work I do) "Find out who I am as a leader" (or as a human)… "Uncover my authentic style"….

But... is it really a worthy goal?

In the pursuit of leadership or personal excellence, we often encounter the notion of authenticity as a guiding principle. We're urged to be true to ourselves, to lead and live with integrity, and to remain genuine in our interactions. However, a deeper exploration into the philosophy of human nature challenges this rather simplistic view.

In Michael Puett and Christine Gross-Loh's book, "The Path", they delve into the writings of various Chinese philosophers including Xunzi, who distinguishes between human nature and artifice.

Xunzi asserts that human nature, while innate, is not inherently virtuous. Instead, it's the product of conditioning and societal influences. He argues that true human nature is revealed when our innate inclinations are refined and shaped through conscious effort – what he terms as "artifice."

Xunzi's perspective resonates with the timeless wisdom of James Allen's "As a Man Thinketh." Allen emphasizes the power of thought in shaping one's character and destiny. He suggests that the noble and god-like character we aspire to isn't a product of chance but the result of deliberate cultivation through right thinking and sustained effort.

At first glance, these philosophies may seem contradictory to the modern notion of authenticity in leadership and finding our true self. After all, aren't we encouraged to be genuine and true to ourselves?

However, upon deeper reflection, it becomes apparent that authenticity, as commonly understood, is a myth. The idea that we can simply be ourselves without any external influence or intentional effort overlooks the complexity of human nature.

Xunzi ‘s and James Allen’s  ideas shaped my response to the participants who wanted to ‘discover’ their leadership style…  I challenged them to think a little differently, instead of discovering who they had become because of external forces, I invited the to ‘create’ who they wanted to be as a leader, empowering them to let go of any limiting beliefs or ideas that may have been handed to them from society, and to self author their leadership journey.

As leaders (and humans), we're constantly navigating various roles, responsibilities, and expectations. We interact with diverse stakeholders, adapt to changing circumstances, and strive to inspire and motivate others. In this dynamic environment, being true to a static, unchanging self is neither practical nor desirable.

Instead, we must embrace the concept of artifice – the conscious effort to cultivate our character, refine our skills, adapt and shape our leadership style. This doesn't mean being inauthentic or pretending to be someone we're not. Rather, it's about recognising that our authentic self is not fixed but fluid, shaped by our choices, experiences, and deliberate actions.

The process of self-creation requires humility, self-awareness, and a willingness to challenge our assumptions and beliefs and become aware of our biases.

In essence, authenticity isn't found in staying true to some unchanging essence of self, but rather in the sincerity and integrity with which we engage in the ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth. It's about aligning our actions with our values, inspiring trust through consistent behaviour, and fostering genuine connections with others.

So, as you bust the authenticity myth, you liberate yourself from the constraints of the what was and embrace the transformative power of artifice with “what if” and “who could I be”.

I invite you to cultivate the best version of yourself through self reflection, choosing who you want to be, conscious and persistent effort, continuous learning, and a commitment to being the best version of you so, you not only fulfill your potential but also inspire others to do the same.

Contributed by: Lalya Wyatt

The Australian Department of Health emphasised that mental health is critical to our well-being. Virtual gatherings, events, and training programs have become increasingly popular ways to support mental health and maintain social connections during these challenging times.
 
"Virtual gatherings and events have become a lifeline for many individuals during these challenging times, providing a safe and supportive environment for maintaining social connections and supporting mental health. Training programs can also be crucial in building mental complexity and developing new tools for navigating life,” says virtual events extraordinaire Shaun Stephens at Loghic Connect.
 
In this article, we'll explore the mental health benefits of virtual gatherings and events and how training programs can help individuals build cognitive complexity. Virtual meetings and events offer many mental health benefits, including the following:

Virtual gatherings and events offer a safe and comfortable environment where individuals can connect with others without the added stress of leaving their homes. This can be particularly helpful for individuals who experience anxiety or stress related to social situations or travelling. Additionally, these virtual events can provide an excellent opportunity for those with introverted tendencies to participate at their own pace and engage more confidently in social interactions. By offering a more controlled and less overwhelming environment, virtual events allow these individuals to relax and engage in activities that promote relaxation, stress reduction, and a sense of social connection.

Virtual gatherings and events can create community and belonging by transcending geographical boundaries and cultural differences. One of the significant benefits of these global virtual events is the opportunity to interact with people from different cultures and countries without the need to leave your home or office. For example, imagine participating in a leadership course alongside a manager from Dubai, a leader from Poland, a coach from Sweden, and a leader from Melbourne, all hailing from different industries. This diverse environment fosters a rich learning experience, as participants can gain insights and perspectives from various cultural backgrounds, enhancing their understanding of global issues and promoting cross-cultural communication skills.

Virtual events (such as conferences and summits) and training programs allow us to learn new skills and expand our knowledge alongside diverse people from different backgrounds and cultures. This can help individuals build mental complexity and develop new tools to navigate life. Learning new skills can also promote a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem, improving mental health and well-being.
 
Another significant advantage of virtual events is the ability to fit your learning into your lifestyle without travelling to a specific location. This flexibility makes education and personal development more accessible, allowing individuals to balance their personal and professional commitments while pursuing growth and development opportunities. This adaptability can lead to reduced stress and greater control over one's life, further promoting mental health and well-being.

Mental complexity involves seeing multiple perspectives and understanding the complexities of different situations. It consists in having a flexible mindset and adapting to changing circumstances. Mental complexity is essential for navigating life and can be developed through training programs. Virtual events and training programs can provide tools and strategies for managing stress and anxiety, improving mental resilience, and building mental complexity. These skills can be applied to various situations, including work, relationships, and personal growth.

Develop Mental Complexity For Success At Work And Life With Blue Chip Minds
Virtual gatherings and events offer many mental health benefits, including maintaining social connections, reducing stress and anxiety, and providing community. Training programs can help individuals build mental complexity and develop new tools for navigating life. Investing in these programs can help individuals take control of their mental health and well-being and build resilience for the future.
 
Blue Chip Minds offers programs that educate leaders + individuals on the latest scientific discoveries about human potential and the human condition. At Blue Chip Minds, we understand the importance of mental health and well-being. That's why we offer programs with a blended delivery of face to face or virtual such as Life Reloaded, Superior Thinkers Toolbox, and Future Ready Leaders Toolkit to help you discover your unused potential.
 
Contact us today for more information.

Do you find yourself pulled between your personal desires or responsibilities and doing what needs to be done for your business or career?
 
In the early 2000’s while managing over one hundred and fifty staff spread across more than forty-one thousand square kilometers, (without Zoom or MS Teams) I was introduced to the concept of work life balance, and I began instilling the idea with the team.

It sounded like a great theory at the time, especially with early mornings and late evenings after driving from location to location to visit team members. But with hindsight and knowledge backed by personal experience I came to understand that to obtain true work life balance, a 50/50 split, was not only impossible but trying to achieve it was creating unnecessary stress… kinda defeating the purpose.
 
In the world we woke up in today, things are vastly different than twenty years ago, we can access work from personal devices, and connect with team members across multiple time-zones with the click of a mouse and more of us are choosing to work from home making it so much easier for our focus to be hijacked by less important and often trivial distractions.
 
This can have a detrimental flow on effect on our productivity, relationships and performance as we unconsciously relegate the things that matter the most to the ‘I’ll get to that later’ list.

In the leadership programs we run, there is a fun and often tormenting activity we do where participants are forced to let go of the things they believe are important to them in order to get to what really matters most…
 
One by one we witness managers and leaders letting go of their gym memberships, their barista brewed coffee, their nightly glass of wine, their entertainment subscriptions, their hobbies, and even personal freedom is sacrificed as they narrow down to the one thing that matters most to them.
 
Do you know what 98% of participants declare as their most important thing, what they couldn’t live without? It’s Family!

If you find yourself doing things that are not important, or chipping away at outdated processes, maintaining unproductive habits that take you further and further away from what matters most to you or heck, you may still be trying to achieve the impossible 50/50 work life balance, you know, feeling guilty at home on the days when work needs to be a priority and thinking you’re in the wrong, or your reputation will be ruined, when personal and family commitments impact your work.
 
It doesn’t have to be this way, you can equip yourself with cutting edge tools to help you navigate the demands of the day, increase productivity, and focus on what matters.

I know it can be painful doing things that are not working for us and at the same time not having the knowledge to push back confidently and intelligently on the things that negatively impact our well-being, relationships, goals, values, and time.
 
Before learning or sharpening the tools that will help you do more of what matters… you may want to first understand the 6 most widely experienced derailers I see people from all walks of life struggle with.  
 
After 20+ years of diving into the fields of human potential, mindset and neurobiology and psychology combined with 1000’s of hours coaching I noticed common traps we all unwittingly fall into when it comes to getting to the things we really want to do or spending time with the people that matter most.
 
If you are like me and want good results, I have no doubt that you know that to achieve results and perform at our best we need to be confident in our decisions, efficient in our thinking and productive with our time.
 
This is easier said than done because no matter how hard we try to be productive and do what matters, there always seems to be people, situations, notifications, and that pesky inner voice that have the potential to distract and derail us.

What I have noticed both within myself in the past, and with coaching clients is the first issue we face. To put it simply, we want to please everyone.
 
Being a people pleaser and not being able to say no effectively leads to doing things not aligned to our goals or doing things to keep other people happy or maintain an unhealthy peace.

The second derailer comes from our neurobiology - we are wired to avoid uncertainty.
 
This innate need to feel safe can slow down or even prevent decisions from being made. This leads to procrastination because we’re afraid to make a start or do things differently. We end up fighting against anything that takes us away from homeostasis, clinging to how things are or how things were, wired to stay in the safety of an outdated way of being.

We can look to biology to understand the third derailer. Derailer number three is our unhealthy well-being habits draining us of the energy we need to get things done.
 
Our energy is derived from the type of food we eat, how much we move, and the quality of our sleep.
 
These are all important factors that impact energy levels and our ability to do what matters, often giving preference to an easy task (think Netflix, gossiping or social scrolling) to match our low energy levels.

The fourth derailer is a psychological one. When our subconscious identity is not aligned to the work we need to do we will unconsciously sabotage our efforts.
 
When who we assume and believe we are is not aligned to who we need to be to get the work done we end up going in circles often reverting to our old ways.
 
If you want to dive a little deeper into the power of your self-image, grab copies of Gay Hendricks book ‘The Big Leap', Chip and Dan heaths Book 'Switch' or Maxwell Maltz book ‘Psycho Cybernetics’.
 
The deeply held beliefs you hold about yourself create a protective system that can sometimes lead to us sabotaging our efforts to focus on what really matters.

The fifth derailer is an environmental one.

You can't be productive if your physical, social, or mental environments are unsupportive.

To set yourself up for success in this area be sure to create an uncluttered space dedicated to the work that needs to be done. Ensure that you are socially supported by engaging in a coach or buddy to cheer you on and hold you accountable to delivering on your objectives. 
 
It is equally important that you create a supportive mental environment by choosing narratives that support your outcomes such as telling yourself  things like:

• “I’m a ninja with my time”,
• “I deliver before due dates”,
• "I easily focus on my work",
• “I am resourceful and get things done in a professional and timely manner.”

 
In essence you’re giving yourself a pep talk to override any beliefs that suggest you don’t have the time, energy, or capacity.

And sixth most common thing that derails us is distractions, and wow… the world certainly has turned up the volume on distractions and shiny objects, stealing our attention away from what’s important.
 
Distractions big or small such as noise, notifications, interruptions from other people or pets, regularly checking emails or your phone. Anything that takes you away from what you are doing are the biggest derailers of productivity.
 
These unwanted intrusions on our time slowly eat away at any hope we may have of consciously integrating our work with our life.
 
Believe it or not distractions are the easiest to fix when you know how to set boundaries for yourself and for others. If you'd like some easy fixes to help you deal with distractions grab yourself a copy of Nir Eyal’s book ‘Indistractible’

What’s interesting about these six common derailers is that we can overcome all of them by overcoming the first one.
 
Once we know how to say no in an enlightened way, we begin to help ourselves and others to let go of the things that no longer serve us and to focus on what’s important.
 
We can set boundaries for ourselves to create healthy well-being habits, we can set clear limits and expectations as to the person that we want to become, we can say no to the things in our environment that get in the way of our best performance, and we can deliberately put measures in place to ensure we are not distracted from what matters most moment to moment.

It’s up to you to get yourself on track and more importantly, stay there. The tools are available in books, podcasts, and courses.
 
The first step is to determine what really matters to you, what’s your priority in any given moment then check to see which of the derailers are present.
 
We know that knowledge alone doesn’t do a darn thing, so if you want support to kick any of your bad habits, outdated self-beliefs or fixed mindset to the curb…

I’m opening up my diary to 6 people who are yet to experience Blue Chip Minds Coaching and who want to get back on track to join me for some complimentary 1:1 time in a 30min get me back on track session.

So… what stops you most often?

• Are you people pleaser?
  
• Do you avoiding uncertainty, clinging to how things are/were?
• Do you have unhealthy wellbeing habits?
• Is your self-identity misaligned to what you want?
• Is your environment (physical, social, mental) full of clutter?
• Are you easily distracted, unable to focus on what’s in front of you?

 
Drop me a line, I’d love to hear what derails you and how you plan to get back on track.
 
Here’s to you doing more of what matters.
 
 Contributed by Georgia Ellis

I’m confident that you would have experienced being in a conversation with someone, and you get a sense that they aren't really paying attention to you, maybe it’s not a sense, maybe its downright obvious that their attention has been hijacked. You notice their eyes not meeting yours, they’re checking a device, or their attention span has been shortened from device overuse. They may randomly comment but what they say is totally irrelevant to the thread of the conversation. Personally, I find this not only frustrating, but it quickly dials down my respect and trust in the other person.
 
By no means am I always an active listener angel, I notice my ability to pay attention diminishes when I am tired, stressed out or preoccupied with a project. I assume this may be the case for you too. What I have come to understand over time is that listening, like any other skill, can be improved and more importantly, our ears, eyes and for some of us our highly tuned empathic sensing provides a direct link to our hidden modes of communication.
 
There is something magical about being fully heard by another human. When we share ideas and experiences unencumbered by judgement or having someone want to solve our problems we feel liberated and connected. The shared space creates a deep connection with the other person increasing mutual trust, respect and sometimes a feeling of catharsis.
 
One of the biggest challenges in personal and professional relationships is creating space for effective two-way communication to occur. We need to manage both our internal and external environments effectively in order to do this.

One of the things I love to do is catch up with friends, not over a coffee, but for a walk-in nature. There are a number of reasons for this, the first being I love being in nature and all the benefits it brings, and secondly to create a space for undisturbed connection, nature has fewer background distractions that are often found in a café, no dobt you’ve experienced the clanging of coffee machines, conversations nearby reverberating off the tables, walls and floors, and the constant interruption of a staff member asking if the meal or coffee was ok.
 
Consciously choosing where you meet, or talk is a great start, then removing any distractions is always helpful. If you’re at home, put the TV on mute, or turn it off, put your phone on silent and pop it away and out of sight and for those of you with smart watches, there is nothing more frustrating than having a conversation with someone who repeatedly lifts their wrist to check notifications or interrupts the conversation to share that their watch was telling them that mum’s calling, but they won’t answer it. So, maybe turn of your vibrating notifications too.
 
When we converse over the phone or online, the same rules of deep engagement apply. Although you may not be in the same physical location, you can still be 100% present. Do your best to dial in from a location with as little distraction as possible away from pets, partners and children, turn off notifications and close down any other apps. When you do this your focused attention on the conversation will pay huge dividends for yourself and the relationship.
 
When scheduling time to be with another human be sure to use the time to be fully present for each other and allow for the natural flow of the conversation to take you to a place where nothing else exists, there’s no time, no one else and nothing else matters. 
 

When dealing with other people being able to share your thoughts and wishes effectively is a something most of us can do with some level of success. But we also have to be open to what others have to say. The most important aspect of creating and nurturing relationships begins with active listening. Active listening is an inside job and can be a challenge to master.

Most people confuse hearing with listening. This can lead to misunderstandings, arguments and frustration for both parties. If you are the one needing to be heard, and you’re not, you may end up lowering your respect levels and trust for the person you are with. We can't control other people’s actions or how they listen to us, however we can set boundaries or rules of engagement if someone is continually distracted when they are in our presence. (we’ll cover how to set boundaries in another article)
 
Active listening is an inside job, it requires awareness, curiosity and compassion. Often when communicating, our inbuilt filtering system prevents us from really hearing the other person. Our beliefs create confirmation bias, our assumptions cause misunderstanding, our predetermined judgements about a person or situation may stir up a perceptual defence and our emotional state may lead to us to only hearing what we want to hear.   
 
We often think that it takes courage and confidence to share our deepest thoughts and to be heard, and it does, but it also takes awareness, courage and confidence to shut up and listen.

Active listening is a skill any one can learn (and most of us need plenty of practice) Active listening will become your go to tool once you discover its power to improve personal and professional relationships. If you don't invest in becoming better at active listening, you will unconsciously discount other people’s perspective, ideas and experiences and they in turn will become emotionally distant (not a great thing in an intimate relationship) and they will no longer want to contribute to conversations or provide creative ideas (Impacting the progress of a business)

The aim of Active Listening is to build respect, gather information, expand our perspective and increase understanding. In a world of constant distractions where our attention span has become less than that of a goldfish perhaps we can borrow a line from Mark Anthony’s request for attention in the play Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare. Where he announces “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears"

It takes attention, focus and the willingness to accept what is being expressed without judgement. Can we lend our ears and eyes 100% to the person attempting to communicate with us?

Here are 5 tips to help you become an Active Listener Angel.  

• Be on a level playing ground. Ensure you are both at the same eye level. Come out from behind the desk and sit with someone, both sit or both stand.
  
• It is your responsibility to respond appropriately (verbally and non-verbally) to what the other person is saying, true listening is a gift of your time.
• Nod occasionally.
• Smile and use other facial expressions.
• Open your posture.
• Use small verbal comments like yes, and "uh huh."
  

 

Active listening is one of the many communication tools we can use to build trustworthy relationships. Make time to listen to the people that matter in your life, it doesn’t make sense to be too busy to listen to someone else's story, opinion, idea or point of view.  Listening is a beautiful gift of our most precious resource ‘time’ that we can give to others allowing humanity to thrive and grow together!
 
#betterhumans

p.s remember to have some fun!

Contributed by: Georgia Ellis

I know it's hard right now balancing commercial goals with the well-being and growth of your people and somehow you did it! It is an absolute honour to work with business leaders and decision makers who not only realise that that their people must come first, above the customer and the shareholder, but they take inspired action towards making it a reality for their organisation.

I often wonder how many organisations expect their tired, wired and depleted team to show up and be the best for each other and their customers, especially when they have not been able to invest in themselves first. How can a person truly connect, influence and shine for a business if at first, they can't shine for themselves?

I love the challenge of working with you to help you serve your people in a way that has never been done before. I love that you knew there was a better and different way to invest in your team and when we shared our approach it resonated deeply with you, and you took immediate action to get started. I now realise you had been searching for unique and proven ways to serve your people and the business at the same time, and here we are :)

I admire the work you do and your bigger vision as a business to truly make the world a better place with your products and services. Instead of playing the short and finite game, your organisation plays the long and infinite game where everyone wins including your customers, clients, team members, shareholders, stakeholders, vendors and the world we share.
 
I am forever grateful that you found us and that we have worked together to create solutions to meet your unique needs. It is a delight working with you all, most importantly and above all, we love your team, your leaders and all the people who participate in our programs, they show up, play full out and in doing so they become better humans. Together your organisation gets to meet your goals and Blue Chip Minds gets to meet ours.
 
I admire that you listened to that deeper knowing that went against convention, you sensed
and truly believed that you have to, need to, and want to do more for your people. Your commitment to building self-awareness, helping people think differently and providing a wider lens for them to see challenges in a new light and providing them with the tools to thrive… not just at work…. but in life, is a massive paradigm shift as to how organisations approached their workforce in the past. It’s because of you that I have faith in the future of humanity and big business.
 
Your leaders have shown that they are ready to lead in a multidimensional way and now they have the tools to do it, helping your organisation to become a human centered commercially minded workforce.
 
I can’t say I’ve ever felt this way about a business client, and not sure if it’s good for business to say this out loud, but to hell with convention right! I have to say it.

I'm thankful that we are aligned and our work together is profitable and beneficial for everyone! Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for being a modern-day Robin Hood and showing up for your people.

Thank you for caring - together we can help to make the world a better place.
 
In gratitude
 
Georgia + The BCM Team.

Until recently, I have had a tug-of-war like relationship with the idea of responsibility for as long as I can remember. This recent shift felt like I was handed a key to a new understanding that nested in my mind and then expanded to create a form of internal freedom.

As if handed down by the magical powers that be directly into my awareness, I was offered a unique and transformative way to reshape how I look at, and understand, responsibility beyond what I had thought previously, which was always associated with a role, title or position. 

I now consider this a framework, a concept, a potential mapping of sorts, for how we can navigate ourselves and each other through the terrain of modern living and all of its complexities, and in this article I will be sharing it with you.

So, grab yourself a glass of your favourite beverage, sit back and let’s go on a little meditative and contemplative ride of curiosity and wonder together about how we can potentially reshape how, and what, we think when it comes to responsibility.​​

So, what can we do?
 

1. Well, for one, be kind to each other and remember that everyone is trying their best.

 
    2. Remember that during times of emotional, physical and/or mental internal imbalance, people are not at their best, and therefore, we need to recognise the inability of the other person to provide what we believe to be an appropriate response.
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A potential tool for these moments would be to become curious and ask the person we are about to request something from, “what is your current energetic, emotional, and physical capacity?” 

We could even go so far as to ask them to rate their levels out of 10 or 100, and if used in a team environment, whoever has the highest score may be able to take the reins for a moment to allow others to regain their equilibrium.  
 
    3. Use the description of ‘response-ability’ as a principle to live by, outside of roles, duties, status and labels – let’s perceive it as a guiding principle.

The more I think about this, the more I feel there’s so much to say, develop and find clarity on how the actual practical application of such a framework fits across our lived experiences. 

Though, essentially, I think it can be summed up by being more considerate of others and the environments we find ourselves in, and shifting our focus and attention from other people’s choices, actions and behaviours to our own. 

If we at least start from there, I trust the magnificence of who we are on a fundamental level - kindness, compassion, openness, curiosity, playfulness, joyfulness - will help us find our way.

​

I have always found being human fascinating, and as I continued to dive into the different sciences that underpin our humanness, I soon learned there is still so much we don’t know… which makes me wonder, with the pace of scientific enquiry and discoveries, how long will it be before what I know today… is well… irrelevant and outdated?
 
For Humans to get along with each other, there is a need for all of us to increase our capacity for critical thinking. To move from thinking our way is the right and only way and from hunkering down on outdated thinking and paradigms, to being curious enough to seek more information, look at things from every angle and formulate a flexible adaptive opinion. In other words, not being stubborn in thinking that the conclusion I came to today, will still be valid and relevant tomorrow when more or new information comes to hand.
 
Whether they know it or not, everyone lives most of their life from a biased vantage point, their Mindset. Our mindset is as unique as our thumbprint. It consists of our various values, perceptions, conclusions, assumptions and beliefs. All of these components create a filter or lens that you view the world through. To be able to see things differently, to appreciate new and diverse information, and sometimes opposing perspectives, and even solve wicked problems, we all need to be able view life from different vantage points.

We must notice when we are experiencing cognitive dissonance and at least be open to the perspectives of those who challenge and disrupt our long held (and sometimes outdated) patterns of thinking. Open and curious dialogue can help us bounce between the black and white thinking that keeps us stuck, to meander and experiment in the grey between what we believe is right and wrong. We need to know how to get off of our self-imposed playing field and up into the grandstand to see the game of life being played out before our eyes. Then, and only then, can we join the dots, make the connections, see where we have gone wrong and more importantly what moves to make to improve the game of life, for ourselves and everyone.
 
Your ability to see life from new or even opposing points of view is one element of critical thinking, it’s a mental muscle and similar to your physical muscles, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

In 2018 a picture of Prince William that went viral.  It showed what looked like the prince giving the “bird” to a crowd of onlookers. However, different photographers captured the same moment from different vantage points, revealing that Prince William was actually holding up three fingers indicating the birth of his third child.

If you had only seen the first image, you would have likely created a story about the prince, your clever brain filling in the blanks to make an erroneous assumption. This is just how we work, and if you didn't have the opportunity to see the same event from a different vantage point, you likely would hold on to your incorrect assumption for some time. This simple example shows you how even a slight change of view or stepping into the shoes of someone else (in this case a different photographer), allows you to perceive an event, problem or situation in a different way. It also builds your ability to think critically and enhances your mental complexity.
 
Perceptions are extensions of repeated and revisited thoughts and feelings. Strong emotions create very strong perceptions.  You will only see the world, and people according to how your brain has been wired. This means that your beliefs and perceptions are completely attached to your past experiences and past thinking. Your perception may not be based on actual events and how they happened, it will be based on the thoughts, feelings and mental state at the time of an event.
 
Your perception is formed about a person, situation, thing or experience once you become aware of it. Your brain fills in any missing information from past memories and experiences or by asking questions or making assumptions. Finally, you develop an understanding or belief about the person, situation, thing or experience. It becomes your point of view. How you saw the situation, how it made you feel and the thoughts you had about it creates your unique personal experience which will often be at odds with how other people who were involved in the same situation experienced it. This is why the people we live and work with have a different point of view to ours. Often causing conflict, confusion and even a break down in relationships, especially when people stubbornly hold on to their experience as the ultimate truth.
 
This does not mean that there is no truth in someone’s account of a situation, there is often an element of truth to a person’s experience. Sometimes we can see their truth and sometimes due to our different perspective we can’t see what they see, often leading to disagreement. Rather than arguing, you can use a difference of opinion or perspective as an opportunity, an invitation, to become curious and better understand how or why people see things the way they do.

The three factors that can influence your perception are your experiences, your motivational state and your emotional state. In different motivational or emotional states, you will react to or perceive something in different ways. Also, in different situations you might employ a "perceptual defence" where you "see what you want to see" and disregard the facts. This is commonly known as ‘confirmation bias’, a unique way to distort reality to have it fit into how we believe the world to be.

Steve Jobs is well known for doing this, his success was largely driven by holding on to an idea or point of view that brought Apples products to life. When people, including his own team, believed things couldn’t be done, Steve often saw things differently. Biographer Walter Isaacson writes that Robert Friedland "taught Steve the reality distortion field." (RDF). The RDF was said to be Steve Jobs' ability to convince himself, and others around him, to believe almost anything. He used a mix of charm, charisma, bravado, marketing prowess, appeasement and persistence. This approach was said to distort his co-workers' sense of proportion and scales of difficulties and to make them believe that whatever impossible task he had at hand was possible. This was the upside of his distorted reality, however Jobs also used the RDF to claim other peoples ideas as his own, even pitching an idea back to its originator, after dismissing it days earlier.
 
Knowing that your point of view is based on your past thinking, and possibly outdated beliefs allows you to expand and strengthen your perception by taking on new points of view, perhaps like Steve, believing in possibility when no one else does. This is especially useful when you are faced with a problem you can’t solve. Changing the way you look at a problem, or changing the thoughts and beliefs you have about an issue can often lead to solutions and save many an argument. Most arguments are caused simply by the different ways in which we all see the world. Doing your best to put yourself in someone else's shoes can help to build stronger and more meaningful professional and personal relationships.

In our Life Reloaded suite of programs, we explore tools designed to help broaden perspective and increase mental complexity. We look at how a team or individual can map differing points of view to solve organisational challenges and polarising viewpoints. We also explore how to use a simple activity (shared below) to help people step into the shoes of anybody, at any time, in any given situation.
 
Einstein has been attributed as saying “You can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that caused it”

We tend to approach the world from the same perception that causes and creates our issues, making it difficult to find a solution or a way through it. I personally started using this simple activity after reading about a similar approach recommended in the classic book “Think & Grow Rich”. This is how easy it can be:

Although it appears simple this activity allows you use your imagination to see things from another person’s point of view. Imagining that you are someone else shifts your thinking patterns, helps you to temporarily suspend your own mindset, release your biased point of view allowing new information to flow to you. You may find this to be a simplistic way of looking at your problems, however I encourage you to experiment with it the next time you feel stuck.
 
With a deeper understanding of perception and the right tools to shift your point of view, you will build confidence in your ability to resolve conflict, solve your own problems and shift your perspective in a powerful way.
 
Learning to walk in another persons shoes and manage polarisation are great tools to have, especially in the world we live in. This form or critical thinking allows you to tap into new information and to see the upside of the things that are opposite to what you personally value, and acknowledge that your side isn’t perfect, it allows you and those you live and work with to be better humans together.

Contact Blue Chip Minds to learn how to strengthen yours or your teams perception and increase mental flexibility.